Solid Ground
by ffpoisongirl
Summary: Spoilers for Sozin's Comet. Azula struggles to recover her lost sanity and stability, with the help of those she perceives betrayed her. Eventual Haru/Azula.
1. Madness

A/N: Okay, I've got a lot to say on this before I start writing, so bear with me. First of all, I never really cared for Azula before the series finale. Not that I hated her, but there wasn't a whole lot of character development for her before then. Her obsessive perfectionism was interesting, but didn't take on much meaning until Sozin's Comet. Second, yes, this is a Haru/Azula story, and yes, it is a crack pairing. However, what Azula needs most right now is stability and love. She perceives her childhood as a loveless one, and it was admittedly full of upheaval. I think Haru can help her. I had more to say, but I forgot it. Anyway, on to the story!

Chapter 1: Madness

Echoing screams reached Fire Lord Zuko's ears long before he reached the floor that held his captive sister. His shoes clanked against the metal steps as he made his way to the top floor - the level reserved for the most dangerous of prisoners.

Not that there was any malice behind Azula's actions anymore. Not really. Ever since the day of their fateful Agni Kai, his younger sister had been reduced to a screaming, sobbing wreck. Despite his duties as Fire Lord, however, Zuko still made an effort to visit the girl every day since she had been locked up here two weeks ago. She was, after all, his sister. Though she had tried to kill him on several occasions, he hated seeing her like this and would give anything to see her get better.

As he opened the steel door leading to the corridor he sought, the shrieking intensified, and the young Fire Lord was sure he heard the sounds of firebending. While he was mildly concerned, this was nothing out of the ordinary for her.

Concern turned to fear when both the screaming and the firebending stopped. Usually, when she tired herself out, she would gradually get quieter before drifting off to sleep. This had been a sudden change, and he didn't like it. His steps came at a quicker pace, his eyes locked on the steel door at the end of the dimly-lit hall. His apprehension grew as he felt the temperature quickly increasing with each step he took toward the door. By the time he reached his destination, he was sweating profusely.

Ignoring all caution, he grasped the deadbolt and pulled. The metal, glowing faintly red from the intense heat, blistered his hands, and he clenched his teeth to keep from crying out. Using all of his strength to pull at the thing, which seemed to be stuck, he also focused his energy into the heat of the door, trying to use his firebending to cool it. Still too hot to touch under normal circumstances, it cooled a bit, and the bolt reluctantly grated out of place. Ignoring his seared hands, Zuko threw the door open and stepped inside, instantly flinching as the heat blasted him in a wave. Azula's continuous firebending inside the small space had turned the metal room into an oven. And there, on the opposite wall with her arms chained above her head, was Azula. Obviously the heat had gotten so intense that she had passed out. At least, he hoped she had only passed out.

It only took one, two, three steps to reach his little sister, and when he got there Zuko destroyed the chains with a well-aimed kick. Still her arms did not fall to her sides like he expected. Rather, they stayed where they were, and upon closer inspection Zuko realized that her skin was stuck. In the past two weeks her firebending had burned her clothes to just this side of decency, and Zuko was angered to see that the wardens had not seen fit to replace it. The wall behind her had gotten so hot that her skin literally started to cook against it, and was now stuck.

There was nothing else he could do; he would have to pull her loose.

Grasping her by the waist, he gave a sharp tug, wincing as he felt the skin of her back give away. He carried her over his shoulder, not wanting to put any unnecessary pressure on her back, and took a look at the wall where she had been sitting. Small strips of charred flesh clung to the steel, and the young leader fought not to retch in that tiny room. Sickness later; right now he had a sibling to care for.

Leaving the room, he strode down the hallway and back to the stairwell. Rather than walking down each individual step, he pitched himself over the railing and plummeted to the bottom level. Landing roughly on his feet, he heard Azula groan as the impact jarred her. Still, she did not awaken, which was good; while he doubted she had the wits to put up a proper fight, she had turned nearly animalistic in the past week, and he wanted her safely restrained before she awoke.

A few steps and a door took him to the guards' quarters. Several guards looked up at the sight of their leader carrying the mad prisoner on his back, but none questioned it.

"You," he said, pointing to two men playing Pai Sho at the table nearest him. "Get me cold water. At least four skins. Hurry up," he called as they ran for the kitchens. "And you, send a messenger hawk to the palace for Avatar Aang," he commanded the man nearest the door leading to the hawkery. "Tell him to get Katara, and bring her to the palace. Tell him it's urgent." The guard hurried to comply.

Zuko, in the meantime, carried Azula to the gondola that would carry them over the boiling water below. Telling the crew manning the mechanism to prepare for departure, he waited inside the cable car for the guards to arrive with the water he had ordered. Laying her on her stomach, he started feeling around her throat for a pulse. There it was, and it was coming unusually fast. This did not bode well. Trying to remember the symptoms of heat stroke he had learned from Iroh - an important lesson for a metal ship filled with firebenders - he took in her flushed skin, and noted that, despite how the fresh air had cooled him down, she was still too hot to the touch. Despite this, her skin was completely dry; she wasn't sweating. Her breathing, he noticed, had a wheezing quality to it.

"Oh no," he muttered. "No. Come on, Azula, you can pull through this." Fear clenched his gut like a fist. He remembered back when she had attacked them at the Western Air Temple, remembered when she had plummeted through the air and he had thought she was going to die. Back then, the fear he had felt had been tempered by the fact that she was trying to kill him. But now, seeing his younger sister like this, driven mad by Agni only knew what, he knew that losing her would utterly devastate him. That was why he visited her every day, wasn't it?

"Fire Lord Zuko!" a voice behind him called. Running steps quickly approached the gondola, but he did not tear his eyes from the girl on the bench before him. "We brought the water, as you asked. However, we could not get it very cold. We apologize most humbly and ask for Your Highness's forgiveness." Both soldiers knelt before him, offering the four water skins to him.

"Don't worry about it," Zuko replied, grabbing the proffered skins. They felt a little bit cooler than the air, which would have to do. "You did your best. Return to your posts."

"Sir!"

"Prepare for launch!" he yelled, to make sure the men at the crank heard him. Sure enough, the gondola immediately lifted off the ground and began moving - at an unusually quick pace, Zuko noticed - over the boiling lake. He quickly jammed a water skin under each of Azula's arms, and another between her legs. With one hand he moved the remaining skin around, hoping to absorb as much of the heat as he could. With the other, he fanned her, hoping to get her to start sweating again. Once the water in the skin heated too much to absorb any more body heat, Zuko flipped Azula over, propped her up with one arm, and trickled some water between her lips. It would not cool her, but hopefully he could rehydrate her and encourage her to sweat.

In about twenty minutes, the gondola touched ground again, and Zuko wasted no time picking Azula up and carrying her out. To his surprise, Appa was already there with Aang and Katara.

"Katara!" he called to the young waterbender. "You've got to help her. She's having a heat stroke."

The girl looked uncertainly between her boyfriend and friend. "I've never treated heat stroke," she said. "I don't really know anything about it."

Of course, Zuko thought. She'd spent most of her life living in the South Pole. "Don't worry about it," he said. "Just cool her down."

Katara nodded, summoning water from the boiling lake. She cooled it and formed it into a large, mattress-like surface. "Put her down on that," she ordered. "We don't want dirt getting into those burns."

Zuko obeyed, placing his little sister on the surface and watching her sink an inch into it. Then, moving her arms and shifting stances, Katara commanded the water to surround all but the princess's face and froze it solid. Zuko noticed that though the outside was ice, the inside was mere water.

"There," Katara finished, stepping back from her work. "The ice should keep the water cold enough to cool her down, but shouldn't give her hypothermia." The look on her face showed every bit of relief Zuko felt. She, like Zuko, had come to pity the young princess in her madness.

"She's not staying there anymore," Zuko decided then. "I'd feel a lot better if she was in the palace, where I can keep an eye on her."

"But Zuko," Aang said, speaking for the first time since the Fire Lord's arrival, "aren't you afraid she'll try to kill you or something? Maybe this is all a trick."

Zuko shook his head. "Look at her," he said. "She's a good liar, and manipulative, but she'd never do it at this cost. She almost died. Besides, the Azula we knew wouldn't allow herself to look like _that_." They all took in her filthy, burnt clothes, her tangled, greasy, unevenly cut hair, and most of all, her gaunt appearance. The overheated flush had already begun to fade from her skin.

"You're right," Aang said. "I feel kind of bad for her, with all that's happened. Like it doesn't make all the stuff she's done okay, but she didn't deserve _this_."

"No," Zuko agreed. "She deserves death."

Katara and Aang both gasped. "How can you say that, Zuko?" Katara asked. "You saw her that day. She was _crying_. Something's damaged her, but that doesn't mean she should die!"

"That's why I'm keeping her alive," he said.

Azula chose that moment to wake up. Her eyes fluttered open, and for a moment she looked like she might speak. Then her eyes darted down her body, taking in her watery prison. Like before, she started screaming, trying to thrash her way out of the ice imprisoning her.

"Katara, uncover her head, now!" Katara did as she was told, and Azula's head whipped around and tried to bite the girl. Zuko stepped in and grabbed his sister by the hair. Holding her head steady, he delivered a blow to her left temple. Her neck immediately fell limp, and Katara caught her head with water before it could hit the ground.

"You can let her out now. She woke up, so her body should be back at a decent temperature." Katara did as she was told, again supporting her on a bed of water.

"I'll take her," Aang volunteered. "We can bring her back to the palace on Appa." He lifted his former enemy onto his shoulder as Zuko had, grunting with the effort. As Katara and Zuko climbed up onto the bison's saddle, Aang summoned a gust of wind to lift him up. Handing Azula off to Zuko, the Avatar took his customary spot on Appa's neck.

"Come on, Appa, to the Fire Palace! Yip yip!"

* * *

With a rumbling growl, the bison launched himself into the air. Soon they were making good time to Zuko's home.

"This is what I meant," Zuko continued from their earlier conversation. "You saw how she reacted when she woke up. She acts like a caged animal. Azula would rather die than live like this... but I want to keep her alive," he added. "Even though the royal physician can't help her, I'm hoping me and Mai can."

Azula awoke, stirring with a groan. Her head hurt, so she left her eyes closed. She'd had the strangest dream... A dream of being outside, and hurting. The waterbending peasant was there, and Azula had been trapped, encased in _water_ of all things. Just like that time... How long had it been? A day, perhaps two.

"I'm sorry, Zuko," a hushed voice spoke. Female, and sort of familiar... "I did what I could, but the skin doesn't want to heal smoothly. There will be scarring." Fading steps, and fading voices.

"What about her mind? Did you..."

She frowned slightly. The surface she was lying on felt soft, like a bed. Certainly there was nothing like it in her cell. For that matter, her hands were always chained above her head in her cell. The last thing she could remember was...

_Her father's cell was right next to hers. She had just tired herself out thrashing and screaming, trying to escape, and now fell silent. Not that she felt any better, but her raw throat and tired muscles would not allow her to continue her behavior. It was this tiny room, these chains. They made her... uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough to scream. Voices, her father's and her brother's, drifted to her ears._

_ "Finally," Ozai's voice growled in disgust, "that infernal racket has stopped. What pathetic soul do you keep so close to me? Is this meant as further punishment?"_

_ Pathetic? She was not pathetic! How dare her father think that of her?_

_ "It's Azula," came the soft reply. Hushed, as though he did not want her to hear. Like she was some weakling who couldn't stand to hear anyone talk about her._

_ Her father, however, had no such consideration. His laugh was so loud that the room echoed with it. "A disappointment," he said. "Surprising, but not entirely unexpected. She hid her weakness better than you, but I see she has let me down even more."_

_ What? No. No, she was not a disappointment. They had _cheated. _She had proposed an Agni Kai - a one-on-one duel. Never mind that she had aimed a bolt of lightning at the peasant. It had still hit Zuko, so the water witch should not have interfered. _

_ "That's all you have to say about your _daughter_?" Zuko's voice demanded angrily._

_ Shut up, Zuzu. She did not need to be defended. She was no one's charity case!_

_ "Why did you think I left her behind when I invaded the Earth Kingdom?" Ozai asked her brother. "Ever since she locked her friends in prison, she has been weak. Following me like a lost lizard-puppy."_

_ Azula bristled. She had merely been making herself available to him! Her only friends' betrayal had not weakened her in the least!_

_ "I could very well have made her Fire Lord had she come with me," the man continued. "But I could tell her pathetic mind was about to snap like a twig. And I was right; all it took was a barbaric waterbender to take her down. Had I known she would be such a disappointment, I would have drowned her at birth."_

_ Waterbender... drown... As if the words had summoned her, the peasant suddenly appeared before her._

_ "So you lived," her own voice said from the waterbender's mouth. "Looks like Zuzu's being too weak for his own good again. Too weak... Just like you!"_

_ The girl faded into the air, but not before a bubble of ice formed around Azula. Panicking from the sudden reduction of space and, therefore, air, the princess screamed and exhaled fire at the ice, melting it instantaneously. Before she could breathe a sigh of relief, the frozen wall returned, this time with a steady flow of water falling at her feet, soaking her clothes and filling what little space she had. It covered her legs... passed her hips... rose to her chest... now only her head remained dry, and still the water level rose. Her breath came faster now, her heart pounding, as she remembered the terror of being helpless, unable to move or breathe as she was chained down._

_ She screamed._

"Azula?"

She opened her eyes, snapped out of the memory. That must be why she was here; the waterbending witch had nearly drowned her, and she had to be taken out of her cell.

Looking around, she realized that she was lying facedown on a small bed, in the infirmary of the palace. Perhaps for her own protection. She moved a hand to brush her unevenly-cut hair out of her eyes.

Or at least she tried to. Looking at the hand that refused to obey her, she realized that she was tied down to the bed with leather straps. Panic welled in her chest as she realized that she was helpless.

"Azula! You have to relax," her brother, sitting on the bed next to hers, said. She could just barely see him out of the corner of her eye. Then, more uncertainly, "You can understand me, right?"

Azula scoffed. "Honestly, Zuzu, I didn't know the crown would make you stupid. Of course I understand you."

Where normally her words would have sparked one of his delightful temper tantrums, now he only sighed with relief. She wondered at that.

"Good," was his reply. "I had Katara try to heal your - "

Alarm. "The waterbender?" Azula demanded. "She tried to _kill me_, and you trust her enough to heal me?"

"She wasn't trying to kill you," Zuko said calmly. "You had a heat stroke. When you woke up outside, she was - "

"I never woke up outside." Azula's muscles tensed. "I'm talking about when she tried to drown me in my cell."

"Azula. You firebended yourself into a heat stroke, and she healed you. She might have even healed your mind. For the past two weeks you've - "

_Shut up shut up shut up shut UP!_ "_Liar_!" she shrieked, struggling against her restraints. "You're messing with my head, trying to make me believe things that aren't true!" She suddenly felt two cool hands on her head, water slithering toward her ears. "_Leave me alone!_" They were trying to kill her, or control her mind, or -

The water slid into her ears, into her head, and she knew no more.

* * *

"She's in bad shape," Katara observed as she laid Azula's head down. "I've managed to heal her mind back to self-awareness, but she's got deep-rooted paranoia. There's nothing I can do about that."

"I know," Zuko said quietly. "Seems like she's hallucinating, too. But at least now we've got a shot at getting through to her."

"What I don't get," Katara puzzled, "is why she hallucinates about me."

"That's easy. When we were little, at least, Azula was terrified of water. She fell through the ice into the turtle duck pond one winter when I was six. Took us a whole minute to get her out, she nearly drowned."

"...Oh." The girl's brow furrowed.

"Don't apologize," Zuko told her. "You did what had to be done. Besides, whatever's messed her up goes a lot deeper than that."

"I guess," she murmured uncertainly.

"Well, she seemed like she was getting better," Aang added optimistically, entering the room from his hiding place outside the door. He and Katara had kept out of Azula's sight to keep from agitating the princess further. "So what now?"

Fortunately, Zuko had been pondering that very question, and had come up with an answer. "Aang, I need you to go to Kyoshi Island," he requested. "We need Ty Lee here to disable Azula's bending, or knock her out if necessary. Katara, I know you're busy healing people and helping them rebuild, but do you think you could try to treat her once daily? Whatever you did to her while she was unconscious, it worked."

"I can try," the waterbender acquiesced. "But I doubt I'll be much help as long as she's afraid of me."

"What about you?" Aang inquired.

"I'm going to see Uncle."

A/N: Sorry if this chapter isn't anything spectacular. I've never written about a character driven insane before, and it's a challenge. It didn't come out at all the way I envisioned it. For better or for worse, we'll see.


	2. A Little Familial Assistance

A/N: Wow, I wasn't expecting so many people to get into my story so soon! I feel nice and motivated to keep writing, especially since I got such a response for a crack pairing. Anyways, I'm going to try to do this quickly, since I tend to lose motivation fast when I write. However, I think that since this is different than my usual style (usually I go for the happy female and the emotionally damaged male), it might be a little easier to hold my interest. If I stop updating, feel free to ride my arse on it as much as you want. Also, interesting tidbit of info: Microsoft Word does not acknowledge "arse" as a word. Tell your friends.

To bibphile: Yes, the prison that once held Iroh would have been more convenient for Zuko's visits, but from a practical standpoint, the Fire Nation populace would be more comfortable with a volatile person like Azula being contained in the most secluded place. Zuko went along with it for their sake, but realized that his sister's welfare trumped his people's feelings of safety - not that he won't take every measure to ensure their safety, but she is more a danger to herself than anyone else. As for Ursa, you'll see.

Chapter 2: A Little Familial Assistance

"Thanks for agreeing to fly us around like this, Aang," Zuko called to the boy at Appa's reins. "I know it's all really out of the way, and normally I'd take a ship, but I don't want to be away from Azula longer than necessary."

Aang chuckled. The Fire Lord had given him little choice, simply telling him to ready Appa, and where they were headed. Still, if he'd minded, or thought that Appa couldn't handle it, he would have refused. Besides, he thought, the fact that Zuko took the time to thank him showed how much he'd changed over the past year or so.

"Don't thank me," he shouted over his shoulder, the wind roaring in his ears. "Thank Appa. He likes apples."

"Good," Zuko replied, "we've got a royal orchard of red and golden delicious he might like."

"You hear that, boy?" the thirteen-year-old said to his familiar. "A couple days of flying, no tunnels or fire attacks or anything, and we'll be back in the Fire Nation and get you some fresh apples!"

The bison rumbled agreeably at the good news.

"So are you sure you can just leave for a few days?" he directed at Zuko. "You've got a whole country to watch over, not to mention Azula."

"It's fine. Mai is keeping Azula company, and she can handle herself," he elaborated. "As for governing, Jeong Jeong volunteered to watch over things until I come back. He should do fine."

The young leader remembered his conversation with Mai before leaving.

_"What happened to her?" his girlfriend asked, staring at the unconscious girl._

_ Zuko sighed. "You know how she's been the past couple of weeks," he said, and Mai nodded. She had visited Azula more than he had. "I guess she's been hallucinating. She firebended herself into a heat stroke, and burned herself while she was at it. Katara managed to get her coherent again, but she's still not doing too good."_

_ Mai nodded again. "So you're getting Ty Lee to keep it from happening again," she understood. "But why do you need to see your uncle?"_

_ "Because whatever's wrong with her was wrong before our Agni Kai," he responded, remembering her demeanor before the fight. "I might have spent more time with her when we were little, but I'll bet Uncle understands her better than I do. Maybe he can help me figure out what's wrong with Azula, so we can fix her." _

_ "Alright, I'll watch her, but I don't know how happy she'll be to see us," Mai reminded him. "We did turn on her, after all."_

_ Zuko recognized her willingness to help her friend, no matter how well she hid it. "Thanks," he murmured, kissing her. Her hand crept up to rest on his cheek, its customary position. Reluctantly he pulled away, recognizing that the sooner he left the sooner he would return. "Anyway, look at this way: it won't get boring any time soon."_

_ The corners of his love's lips quirked up slightly. "Well, I guess I'll stay with you as long as you keep me entertained, then."_

He knew he could count on Mai to keep Azula in line. While she couldn't disable her bending like Ty Lee could, she was a formidable opponent, and Azula was still recovering.

Everything would be fine.

* * *

Mai sighed. Zuko had promised her that things wouldn't get boring, but staring at an unconscious person for an hour wasn't exactly the thrill of her life. Honestly, if the guards around here weren't bumbling idiots compared to her, she would have left ages ago. Maybe the local library had some books on topics more interesting than proper etiquette, firebending, and the glory of the fire nation. Unlike her parents' library.

"So now I'm to be babysat like a child, am I?"

Mai's attention focused on Azula to see the princess's amber eyes focused on her. "I guess so," she replied. "It's either this or my little brother, and you've got the advantage of being tied down."

Mai waited for the expected snippy retort, but it never came. Instead, Azula turned her head away as far as her restraints would allow. This worried Mai. Azula was easily angered, but she never sulked; she would plot a way to get even, execute it flawlessly and without emotion, and then consider the matter finished. The silent treatment was never one of her tactics. Mai resolved to keep Azula talking as much as she could. Maybe she'd figure out what the problem was, and how to fix it. Besides, she was bored.

"Speaking of brothers, I heard yours saved your life today," she continued.

"Of course you did," Azula muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Azula's head whipped around to regard the pale girl. "It _means_ that he most likely fed you the same lies he fed me, that I've been in the cell for almost two weeks when it's been more like two days, that I gave myself a heat stroke!"

"Yeah, he told me the same thing. And as for the two weeks part, I can vouch for that," she informed her friend.

"And why should I believe a traitor like you?" the princess demanded. "You would lie to me just as easily as he would."

Mai huffed, "You know I don't lie, Azula, it's a waste of my time and makes things too complicated. And as for Zuko, he knows that if he lies to me, he'll spend the rest of his life eating through a straw."

"Then why are you here? To poison me? Gloat over your enemy's defeat? What?!" Her voice escalated more with every word.

"No," the raven-haired girl disagreed. "I'm here because we're worried about you. You're a lot better than you were, but you're acting like we're all out to get you."

"Aren't you?" Azula interrupted. "That's why you and Ty Lee attacked me at the prison, isn't it? Because you wanted me to fail. Tell me," she asked, her voice laced with pure venom, "how long were the two of you planning this? How long did you conspire with my failure of a brother?"

"If you really think it was a preconceived plan, you're acting unusually stupid," Mai informed her friend. "Nothing was planned. I did what I did because I love Zuko, and because you were taking things too far. I was tired of having to be afraid of you all the time, of what might happen if I didn't do everything you asked."

"What do you want from me?!" the girl shrieked, catching Mai by surprise. Despite the younger girl's suspicions, she had been holding a relatively calm conversation until now. "If you're going to kill me, or mock me, or hurt me while I'm helpless, do it now!" Azula's face crumpled and she sobbed loudly as tears ran messily down her face. "Just leave me alone!" she screamed through her sobs.

Mai, knowing the blow Azula's pride was taking right now, quickly left the room, shutting the door behind her. Something wasn't right. Azula was usually such a clear thinker, and emotion never got in the way of what she wanted to do. Other than when she had been reduced to a raving madwoman for two weeks, she had never seen the girl cry before. Even Azula's time in prison had not bothered Mai as much as this, because the animal in that cell had _not been Azula_. This clearly was.

Mai wandered aimlessly through the halls of the palace (a small part of her mind cataloguing every turn she took), trying to get a feel for the building she might one day help run. She'd never really gotten that good a look at it when she was younger; Azula was a true child of the sun, never wanting to stay inside and making sure Mai and Ty Lee stayed out with her.

An immense set of double doors rose before her, and Mai wondered at them. Obviously not meant for servants or guards, or they would not be so grand, with ruby and gold inlay accenting the ivory-covered panels. Where most of the palace was done up in reds and golds - a nice color combination, Mai thought, but it got old after a while - white seemed to be the focus of this door. Not the throne room, or the war room. Mai knew where those were. And it was nowhere near the living quarters. Well, she was sure Zuko would not mind if she took a look.

Grasping the large brass handle in both hands, Mai gave an experimental tug. It didn't budge. Well, that didn't surprise her; her muscles were trained for speed and accuracy, not brute strength. Still, curiosity along with the physical challenge spurred her on. Bracing her feet against the smooth marble floor, she pulled harder. After some initial resistance, the door grated free, sliding roughly outward. The hinges groaned with the effort. Mai made a mental note to get them oiled. Well, if the room held anything interesting.

Stepping inside, her nose was instantly assaulted with the smell of dust and stale air. Not promising. Still, anything was better than twiddling her thumbs waiting for Zuko to return or Azula to calm down. A quick glance around revealed shelves stacked to the incredibly high ceiling, filled with books and scrolls. Apparently, she had stumbled upon the palace library.

Something akin to excitement sparked in her chest. Granted, Mai was not a big reader; being forced to read history and etiquette all her childhood had ensured that. But after so many years of disuse, she had discovered this place. It was _hers_. At least for the time being.

Stepping inside more fully, she took a good look around. Books were piled haphazardly on tables and even the floor. Even the books in the shelves looked poorly organized. Add to this the thick layer of dust covering everything, and the sight of the library was indeed a pathetic one.

Well, Mai thought, rolling up her sleeves, it was no trek across the world to capture the Avatar, but it would keep her busy for a few hours.

* * *

Zuko leaned over the side of Appa's saddle, gazing down at the city below. The wall was well on its way to being rebuilt, but it was obvious that it still needed a lot of work. Still, the fact that such a tall, strong wall was already well underway showed just how dedicated the people of the Earth Kingdom were to their country and capital.

"Alright, I'm going to drop you off at the Jasmine Dragon. Then I want to go see if the Earth King's returned yet. Is that okay?" Aang asked.

Zuko nodded. "Yeah, that's fine," he said. His eyes slid to the west, noticing the sun already half hidden by the horizon. "Take your time," he added. "Looks like we'll be spending the night."

"Yeah," Aang agreed. "We'll probably spend tomorrow night in Kyoshi, too."

Zuko sighed with impatience at the delays. Still, he couldn't deny that a trip to Ba Sing Se and back on boat would take longer than flying to the city and Kyoshi island on Appa. He would just have to be patient.

He _hated _having to be patient.

As Appa landed them in the middle of the street in front of Uncle's tea shop, people ran to get out of the way. Really, Zuko reflected, it paid to have such high titles as Avatar and Fire Lord.

Of course, the prospect of being crushed by a giant bison probably didn't appeal to the average person, either.

Zuko slid expertly down Appa's furred hide, glad he had chosen to wear casual clothes rather than his Fire Lord regalia as he came off covered in long white hairs. With a wave, he watched the pair take off again, before walking through the open doorway of his uncle's shop.

And promptly leaped back out. Jin! How could he have forgotten about Jin? He smacked himself on the forehead, wondering how he was going to get himself out of this one.

...No good. He could hear his Uncle's singing drifting through the open door. Nothing short of a direct confrontation could distract the man while he was singing. Azula had better get better after this, he thought, gritting his teeth. _Fully_ better. No more lying, no more manipulations, no more power obsession.

A few passersby were staring openly at him, probably wondering why the Fire Lord (if they even recognized him as such) was standing outside of a tea shop like a stalker.

He entered again, fully this time. There was Jin, her eyes locked onto him immediately. Great.

A weak, forced smile made its way onto the scarred teen's face. "Oh, uh... hey Jin."

A cheerful smile and finger wiggle wave. "Hi, Zuko. It's been a while."

The use of his real name was not lost on the boy. "Yeah." Hoping it was Jin's turn to talk, Zuko fell silent. No such luck. "So how'd you find out?"

"Your uncle told me," she replied.

"Oh." Zuko said the only thing that he could think of, the only thing that seemed appropriate. "I'm sorry."

Jin waved again, this time in dismissal. "Don't worry about it. I mean, I was pretty angry at first, but I can see why you did it." She smiled playfully. "Looks like I missed my chance to bag me a rich guy, huh?" Snapping her fingers in mock disappointment, she asked, "So are you still with that girl who put the fish on your head? What was her name again?"

Zuko shuddered at the memory of the cold, wet, limp thing on his head, and then the terror of seeing several pointed objects headed straight for his face. "Mai," he answered, "and yeah, we're still together."

"That's nice." How could she be so okay with all of this? Well, it had been several months, he guessed. No need to dwell on things like that. "Anyway, I won't take up any more of the Fire Lord's super-important time," she said. "Go ahead, talk to your uncle."

"Thanks. It was good seeing you." Awkward, yes, but good.

Heading behind the counter, Zuko called out to his Uncle. The singing stopped, and Iroh soon emerged from the back room.

"Zuko! Well, this is unexpected," the older man exclaimed, wrapping his nephew in a hug. Zuko returned it. It had been only a week since he and his friends had gathered here, but he had missed his uncle dearly.

Once they broke apart, Zuko asked, "Can we talk in private?"

"Of course." After calling to his assistant to watch over things for a bit, he lead Zuko into the back room. Each took a mat at the long table, and Iroh poured them each a cup of tea. "What was it you needed to talk about?"

"It's about Azula."

Iroh nodded. "I thought you might come to me about that eventually."

"How?" Zuko asked. As far as he knew, his uncle had not seen Azula since he had been locked in prison months ago.

"She has tried to kill us, especially you, many times," Iroh explained. "No normal fourteen-year-old would be able to do such things, no matter how skilled. She is deeply troubled."

Zuko had never really thought about it that way before. Yeah, he'd known something was wrong with her before he faced off with her during the Agni Kai, but it had never occurred to him that her past behavior was the result of anything other than natural cruelty. The thought that whatever they were dealing with was that deep-rooted did not bode well for their ability to help her.

Iroh said nothing while Zuko digested this new information, waiting patiently for him to speak.

"She's gone insane," he finally said. "Until earlier today, all she would do was scream and cry. Katara managed to heal her mind a bit, but we think she's still hallucinating. She doesn't trust any of us."

"And why not?" Iroh asked rhetorically. "From what I have heard, her only two friends betrayed her. And as for you, you have been stealing from her all her life."

Zuko bristled at his uncle's words. "What do you mean?" he demanded. "I've never done anything to her! She's the one who wrongs me!"

"Calm yourself, Zuko," the former general placated him. "I meant no offense. However, if you cannot figure out how Azula's mind works, you will be unable to help her."

"Then why don't you do it?" the teen muttered, sulking.

"Because she is not angry with me," he replied. Chuckling, he added, "At least, not as angry as she is with you three, among others. I will offer you this, though: a phrase you should be quite familiar with, one that might help you to get into her head."

"Okay." Zuko waited, wondering what wisdom his uncle would impart on him.

" 'Azula always lies.' "

The teen blinked. "That's it? That's all you have to say?"

The older man shrugged. "I have every confidence that you'll figure it out on your own," he assured his nephew.

* * *

Mai wrapped herself in a towel, still pleasantly relaxed after her long bath. Her hair, for once not in the complex style she had taught herself years ago, fell down to her hips.

She had spent the past four hours in the library, beginning to go through all of the books. She had already separated one immense shelf's worth into several categorized piled on the floor, including the expected etiquette, history and genealogy. She had also been surprised to find a few children's books in there, along with books filled with sheet music and dance steps she had never seen before. In fact, she'd bet her best set of shurikens that no one knew these songs or dances.

The work she would have to do was going to be ridiculous, but it wasn't as though she had much better to do. Sure, she'd do her part to help Azula - because she wanted to, not because Zuko asked - but there was only so much she could do on her own. So, for now, she would work on this.

Besides, even though Zuko definitely owed her for saving his life, he was letting her stay at the palace so she wouldn't have to go back to living with her parents. She might as well do something to earn her keep. She'd save his debt for some time when she could get something really good out of it.

A sudden knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts. "Miss Mai! Your presence is required in the infirmary!"

"Alright, I'll be there in five minutes," she called through the door.

A hesitation, and Mai could tell the guard was fighting between his loyalty to his absent lord, or the woman he had been ordered by said lord to obey. Her lips quirked in amusement.

"But... My lady, the matter is most urgent!"

Possible, but doubtful. Typical guards had much lower standards than Mai for what qualified as "urgent."

"Alright," she said. "If it's urgent enough for me to run out there undressed, then I'll go. Happy?"

Mai could almost hear him gulp nervously through the door. "We shall expect you in five minutes, my lady."

Mai was already in her undergarments before she heard his footsteps receding in the distance. Next came her hakama and matching turtleneck. Her overtunic came last - before all of her concealed weapons, that is. Obviously the matter was under control enough for her to bring her weapons, and in any case she would never risk being anywhere near Azula without them. Not bothering to put her hair in its customary style, she left her room and ambled her way to the infirmary. She heard Azula's yelling long before she got there.

The scene before her brought another smile to her face. A nurse was attempting to spoonfeed Azula, who was having none of it. Between the yelling and cursing, the writhing on the bed, and spitting what little food made it in her mouth back into the nurse's face, Azula was acting like a child. Mai was surprised she hadn't tried to burn anyone yet.

This was what the fuss was all about? Apparently Zuko needed a more competent staff.

"I'll take it from here," she said, wondering but not really caring if the nurse would hear her over the din.

Apparently she did, because she instantly put down the plate of chicken, rice and spiced apples and fled.

Mai, meanwhile, wasn't going to sit around forcing her to eat like a ten-month-old. She'd had to do that for her brother this morning, and it had taken an hour for her to get the overcooked peas out of her hair. Revolting.

"Do you want this?" she asked, holding the plate in Azula's line of sight.

The younger girl's lip curled, and Mai thought vaguely that it looked less threatening without the lipstick. "Of course not," she snarled. "It's obviously poisoned or drugged."

Mai shrugged. "Suit yourself." She lifted a blob of rice to her lips with the chopsticks. Just the act of chewing and swallowing made her realize how hungry she was; she'd spent hours in the library, and had skipped dinner. Still, she had the option of going to the kitchens for something, unlike Azula. "Sure you don't want it?"

"Positive." Just then her stomach growled, but she ignored it. "Either it's been tampered with, like I said, or you're just trying to lull me into a false sense of security for the future."

"Whatever you say." She wouldn't be the one to coddle Azula. First of all, she didn't believe in giving in to people like that, and secondly, Azula would never stand for it. Helping herself to some of the chicken, she winced at how spicy it was. She would never understand how people could _like_ food that burned their throats. Another scoop of rice helped take it away.

"So where has my idiotic brother run off to?" the princess asked in the meantime.

"He went to talk to your uncle."

She snickered. "Two days as Fire Lord, and he's already in over his head, hmm?" Another derisive chuckle flowed from her lips. "I bet if you'd known what a pathetic leader he is, you would have ditched him in a heartbeat."

A normal person, especially with her history and weapons expertise, would have at the very least threatened Azula for her constant uncooperative behavior. Fortunately for Mai (and possibly for Azula), she had been trained to ignore feelings like those. Along with all others.

"Two weeks as Fire Lord, and he's already done a better job than you ever could," she retorted without rancor.

"So we're on that again, are we?" came the rhetorical reply. "When are you going to learn that I can't be convinced?"

Mai didn't reply, her gaze flickering to Azula's back. All it would take was a couple of mirrors for Azula to see the scarring on her back and make a more educated judgment. Of course, in her current mindset, it was likely that she would think Zuko had burned her to continue the death conspiracy.

Besides, she didn't want to have to be the one to show Azula her newly-acquired imperfection. She might be justified in hating Azula, but she couldn't bring herself to.

Learning from her past mistake, she decided to just sit and wait. If Azula wanted to talk, she could start the conversation. Otherwise, she would prepare herself for the long haul.

* * *

Zuko groaned in frustration. They had been on Appa all day! When Avatar Kyoshi made her island, couldn't she have made it a little closer?

"Don't worry," Aang called over his shoulder. "We're almost there. Maybe another five minutes or so."

"Ugh, I'm just so sick of waiting!" Zuko cried. "I know this is taking a lot less time than it would by boat, and I appreciate that, but I just want to be back home." Back with Mai, he added silently. They didn't have one of those relationships where one couldn't get by without the other, but now that he was with her, no reservations, no regrets, he missed her. He missed her a lot.

"Did you get any advice from your uncle?" Aang asked.

There was that, too. Zuko had thought that, for once, Iroh would take a problem seriously enough to just tell him what to do. Instead, he was just as vague and cryptic as ever. "Not really," he replied.

"Well what did he say?"

"He said I'm always stealing from her," Zuko repeated. "I need to get into her head, and that 'Azula always lies.' "

"That last part seems kind of obvious."

"No kidding."

"Maybe..." Aang hesitated. "Maybe there's some deeper meaning behind it."

Zuko snorted. "With Uncle, there always is. Sometimes I wonder if he's vague on purpose, so that if he's wrong nobody can prove it."

"Aang laughed, then pointed ahead and down. "There it is," he announced. "Kyoshi island."

Zuko winced. Now that they were here, he remembered a time when he had chased Aang here. It had not ended well for the village, and if not for Aang's quick thinking, every last building would have burned to the ground.

"Do you think the villagers will be mad?" he asked guiltily.

"Who can say?" Aang replied. "They seemed like pretty easygoing people to me. Besides, I'm sure Suki and Ty Lee will vouch for you."

Zuko made a mental note to send some money and workers to help out once he returned to the Fire Nation.

Another minute found the pair landing in the middle of town in front of a large statue of Avatar Kyoshi. Glancing around the town, Zuko found it much the way he remembered it: dirt roads, wooden huts. The only exception was that some of the house had obvious patches of new wood, and most bore scorch marks.

Both boys slid off of Appa to the ground, facing the awaiting throng of villagers.

An old man with a grizzled beard stepped forward. "Avatar Aang, to what - "

The elder was suddenly interrupted by a young man with long brown hair shoving his way to the front of the crowd. Judging by the look on Aang's face, he was familiar. The young man also seemed to know Aang.

Suddenly, the man started shrieking, pointing a finger back and forth between Aang and Zuko. His eyes were panicked, his muscles tense. As if this wasn't odd enough, suddenly he started to foam at the mouth.

Concerned, Zuko turned to the village elder. "Is he - "

The old man held up one hand to silence him. "Just give him a minute," he said.

Soon the pointing gave way to mindless flailing of the arms, which promptly ceased as he collapsed to the ground with a dull _whump_.

Zuko glanced askance at his bald companion. "He, uh, he does that," was the boy's only explanation.

"I heard that weird guy screaming, is Aang here?"

"Sokka!" Sure enough, the dark-skinned warrior was jogging toward them through a space in the crowd. Aang grinned and said, "Hey Sokka, I've got a surprise for you!"

"Surprise, huh? Alright, lay it on me."

From underneath his robes (really, he must be better at concealing weapons than Mai, Zuko thought) Aang produced a long, black-bladed sword with a golden hilt.

"I found it a couple weeks ago when we were searching the airship wreckage for survivors," Aang explained.

"Space Sword!" The Water Tribe teen ran forward and grabbed the weapon, hugging it like a long-lost relative. And surprisingly, managed to do it without cutting himself.

"Sorry to break up the reunion," Zuko interrupted, "but have you seen Ty Lee? It's kind of important."

"Oh yeah, she's training with the other warriors," Sokka informed him. "Teaching them all unarmed combat. Want me to get her for you?"

Zuko rolled his eyes. "Sure."

"HEY TY LEE! ZUKO'S HERE TO SEE YOU!"

Zuko flinched at the volume, and again as he was wrapped in a bone-crunching hug. "Hi Ty Lee."

"Zuko! How've you been?" The acrobat-turned-Kyoshi Warrior released the Fire Lord and looked him over. "Your aura's looking nice and bright! Has Mai been being a naughty girl?" she teased.

Zuko's cheeks pinkened instantly. "Shut up. It's not like that," he grumbled.

"So what's this all about, anyway?" she asked, flipping into her hands. Zuko noticed that she had tied the ends of her hakama to her ankles to prevent any embarrassing accidents.

"How about we explain in the air?" Aang interrupted.

"Are you sure Appa can handle it?"

"Sure," the boy replied. "We won't get back 'til early morning, and we'll all be tired, but it'll be worth it. Besides, you're anxious to get home, right? Just make sure you remember those apples!"

"I will," Zuko assured the airbender.

* * *

Mai sighed.

Here she was, _still_ in the infirmary with Azula. She had been here for the past twenty-four hours, and she hadn't been this bored since her family had been relocated to New Ozai/Omashu. She must really like Azula if she'd stayed here for all this time.

Neither of them had really slept - Mai because the chair she sat on was uncomfortable, Azula because she thought Mai would do something to her in her sleep. Each had dozed occasionally, but that was it. The weapons specialist had gotten her three meals a day, because Azula had refused to eat anything offered to her, so Mai had eaten it for her. As far as she was concerned, the more people tried to force the princess to eat, the stronger she would believe they meant her harm. Let her stomach sway her mind. Besides, there was no point in wasting perfectly good food on nurses' faces.

The entire night and day had passed in complete silence, which was fine; neither was the type to talk to fill silences. Neither had anything to say, so neither would speak.

She wanted Zuko home. She missed him, and she hated the fact that he was going to an island full of girls. Young, _single_ girls. She'd get the details from Ty Lee later; if he so much as looked at one of those Kyoshi hussies, they'd have her to deal with.

But for now, she would wait.

A/N: Whew! Sorry I cut that a little short. I hate writing chapters over 10 pages, so I was quickly losing patience. I'm sure the fact that I'm irritable and want to eat my weight in chocolate is also a major contributor. Anyway, I had fun with this chapter. Mai was fun to write, mainly because I wanted to give her a teensy bit more of a personality, along with a hobby. Sorry if it seems OOC for her to be restoring a library, but she's got to do something to keep herself busy. Honestly I can't wait for Azula to stop with this paranoia; it's very difficult to write. Still a while to go there, though. As for Space Sword, Sokka made that himself and it was one of a kind; I didn't think it was fair that he should lose it. Anyways, peace out


	3. Aural Matters

A/N: Oh man oh man, I am feeling the love

A/N: Oh man oh man, I am feeling the love! I can't tell you how excited I am that I've gotten this many hits! Not to mention reviews, faves and alerts. I'd expect this much and more for a Zuko/Katara or Yuffie/Vincent or something, but not this! I can't tell you how stoked I am. What can I say? My inner author is an attention whore. Sidenote: I just realized I forgot to take time difference into account last chapter. Lamesauce. Oh, and since I forgot to do this earlier:

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar. That belongs to... who cares, it's not me.

mT: You gave me a great idea. I'll credit you when it comes in.

Chapter 3: Aural Matters

"I still can't believe you two can be so calm about it. Flying! Flying, without having to listen to propellers or smell engine oil. It's great!" She had been saying this _all night_.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Zuko informed his sister's friend. "You've walked a tightrope, on your hands, over a pit of fire. Compared to that, this is nothing."

A rumble from the front told Zuko that Appa was offended by this estimation of his flying abilities. "Don't worry, Appa," Aang placated his familiar. "He meant that he trusts you. You fly so well that he feels safe."

Ty Lee giggled, amused by the bison's reaction. "So he can understand us? Everything we say?"

"Yeah," Aang replied. "Sky bison are really smart. Flying lemurs... Well, who knows?"

"Where is Momo, anyway?" Zuko asked. "He hasn't been with you lately."

"Toph asked to borrow him," the boy replied. "Said she needed a working pair of eyes. She said she should be back with him soon."

"We're here!" Ty Lee had to resist the urge to do backflips. No matter how much she hated her childhood, she loved her country, and was eager to see how her two best friends were doing.

"Ty Lee, it's four in the morning," Zuko grouched. "How can you have this much energy?"

The heavily made-up girl shrugged. "I don't know," she said pensively. "I guess I'm just excited."

"Yeah, it's all very exciting," the Fire Lord snarled. "My sister being a complete wreck and us being unable to fix it, that's all really exciting. _Yippee_."

Ouch. That had hurt. "I'm sorry, Zuko," Ty Lee mumbled. "I didn't mean it like that. Of course I'm worried about Azula. I just thought - "

"Forget it, Ty Lee," the teen interrupted. "I didn't mean it. I'm just tired."

"Okay!" Ty Lee might not know Zuko super-well, but she knew that when he apologized, he meant it.

Soon they landed in the castle courtyard, where Zuko assured Appa that he would get his treat as soon as the groundskeepers awoke, which would be in another two hours or so. Assured of his reward, the giant bison ambled off to find a place to sleep. Aang, exhausted from the past two days, not to mention his duties as Avatar, decided to join him.

"Come on." Zuko lead Ty Lee inside, through various hallways the girl couldn't really see. The occasional fire lit the way enough so neither of them bumped into anything, but the light wasn't enough to make out much in the way of details. Zuko's ability to guide them to the infirmary was a testament to his knowledge of the palace.

A gasp escaped Ty Lee as her eyes fell upon Azula. The princess was hardly recognizable. Her hair was a greasy, knotted mess, and the front had been shorn unevenly. Her face, usually perfectly made up, was streaked with dirt and spit-up food. Even her clothes were terrible: typical brown prison-wear, filthy and scorched nearly to ruins. But that wasn't what caught her attention.

Her aura... It was _brown_. Not grey, the way Mai's was from closing herself off from her emotions, and not black like the former Fire Lord's was. Not even the earthy tone of someone who was... well, down to earth. This was the color of illness, the color of filth, churning like raw sewage. Her soul was _sick_. And if the red border had anything to do with it – not vibrant red or passionate red, but _angry_ red, the color of blood – then her childhood was at least partially to blame for her current state.

"She won't be asleep much longer."

Ty Lee turned in time to see Zuko embrace his girlfriend, causing the acrobat to inhale sharply. Their auras blended! She had never seen anything like it before. Zuko's intense red sort of brought out the brightness in Mai's grey-blue, while her color toned his down. Where their bodies connected, the colors combined to an attractive shade of purple.

She sighed in disappointment as the couple parted. It was a sad state of affairs when she'd been seeing auras for so long – almost four years – and this was the first time she had seen love.

* * *

As the trio made their way through the halls to find a sitting room, Zuko noticed Ty Lee staring at his and Mai's connected hands with a silly grin.

"What?" he demanded.

"Oh, nothing," the painted warrior assured him. "I just think you two make a cute couple, that's all."

"We don't do cute," Mai pointed out.

They came upon an empty lounge and immediately took their seats. Zuko and Mai went for the loveseat, the boy casually resting an arm behind his girlfriend's shoulders. Ty Lee sat upside down in a plush chair, her hair brushing the floor.

"What are you doing?" Zuko inquired.

Ty Lee shrugged. "I'm more comfortable upside down," she explained.

"It's her brain," Mai continued. "It's not used to getting this much blood. I think it likes it."

"Hey!" Ty Lee cried as Zuko chuckled. Still, she was used to teasing like this – and much worse from Azula. Besides, she knew there was no malice behind Mai's words. "So I took a peek at Azula's aura," she changed the subject. "She's not looking too good, and it looks like whatever we're dealing with stems from her childhood."

Zuko scoffed. "Auras again?" he asked. "That's not why I brought you here."

Confused, Ty Lee asked, "Then why did you?"

"To cut off her bending," Zuko replied. "So she doesn't hurt herself again."

"Funny," Mai cut in, "she hasn't firebended once since I started watching her."

"Okay, well in that case - "

"Don't tell me to go home!"

Zuko stared at Ty Lee, puzzled about the interruption. "What?" he asked as she flipped herself rightside up.

The girl scowled, an expression made more potent by her makeup. "Look, I know you don't believe in the auras I see," she began. "And I know you think I'm not all that smart, and I'm too perky or whatever, but I can help!" A few tears escaped from her eyes then, and she quickly swiped at them with her sleeve, smudging the white and red around her face. "Don't you guys remember? She didn't used to be like this. I mean, sure, she could always be _mean_, but she was never _heartless_. So don't tell me to go back to Kyoshi. I want my friend back, and I'll do whatever it takes to do it!"

He'd had no intention of saying that. All he was going to say was that Ty Lee should be given a room near Azula's, so that if she _did_ cause trouble, the acrobat could disable her quickly. "Okay," was all he said instead.

"So what are we going to do about her, anyway?" Mai asked. "We can't just leave her tied to that bed all the time."

"Well, we need her in a place she can't escape from," Zuko said. "And the only place I can think of is the dungeons. Maybe if we had a cell refurnished, so she's contained but not constantly on-edge..."

Just then, an enraged scream sounded through the halls. The trio bolted from the room, dashing through the halls as though their lives depended on it. As they drew closer, they began to decipher words in the screams.

"_Get away from me! Don't touch me! LEAVE ME ALONE_!"

The three burst into the room to see Azula staring after them. "Well?" she demanded. "Aren't you going to send someone after her? Or is she in on this, too?"

Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee all looked among each other. "Who?" Ty Lee finally ventured.

"You all saw her, she ran _right past you_!" the princess yelled. "Don't insult me by playing stupid, I know you saw her!"

"Don't appease her," Zuko whispered. "It'll just make things worse."

"What are you saying about me?" the bound girl demanded. "What are you planning? I knew it! Somehow you found her, and you brought her here, to torment me! Just you wait 'til I get out of here, brother," she snarled viciously. "I will make you wish you'd lost our little duel. The scar father inflicted on you will be pleasant by comparison!"

She was so wrapped up in her suspicion of her brother that she didn't notice Ty Lee sneaking behind her. "Sorry, Azula," she said, before jabbing various pressure points on the girl's back. The princess fell unconscious.

"Okay," Zuko said. "Let's get her moved while she's out."

* * *

When Azula awoke, the first thing she noticed was that she was no longer strapped to that uncomfortable bed. Cautiously opening one eye, she saw that she was in a prison cell. Her sole source of light was one tiny barred window about four feet above her head. Still, that was enough to see that the room had been recently cleaned, and that she had been afforded a few comforts not normally afforded to prisoners, regardless of rank or crime. Her quilt and pillow were both stuffed with turkey-goose down instead of cheap batting, and there was a screen in front of the bedpan. With relief she headed straight over to the screen; she had controlled herself for over a day now, refusing to ask for help, and it would be good to relieve herself of the pain. Luckily she hadn't eaten or drank in a while, so the pain was not what it could have been.

A tray with food and water lay just this side of the bars separating her from the rest of the dungeon. She ignored it. Noticing a basin filled with water in the corner, Azula carried the screen over to it and stripped. A cloth and a small bar of soap had been provided, and Azula made quick work of washing away the filth from herself. She looked around. No sign of shampoo or comb. She washed her hair with the barsoap, grimacing at how rough and damaged it felt afterward. Her fingers served well enough as a comb; they couldn't get nearly all of the snarls out, and she tore out a lot of hairs by accident, but at least now it would feel less wretched. Dressing in the same filthy clothes undid her hard work, but it was all she had.

"I knew my little girl was underneath that dirt somewhere."

Azula froze. She knew that voice. Stepping out from behind the screen, her suspicions were confirmed. Red robes, sleek black hair, kind eyes a few shades darker than her own.

"I was never your little girl," she growled. "Don't start pretending now."

"So cold, as always." Her mother sighed. "I've tried so hard to love you, but you've always been such a horror."

"Shut up!"

"Azula...? Is that you?"

Ty Lee's words dispelled her mother's presence instantly.

"What are you doing to me?!" the princess screamed. "What did you do to me as I slept?!"

"N-nothing!" Ty Lee suddenly came into view in front of her cell's bars. Azula's mind vaguely registered that the acrobat was back in her traditional pink garments. "Azula, what did you see? I was sleeping, so I didn't see anything."

"Liar!" In a flash Azula was at the bars, gripping them with white knuckles. "Now I know your game," she continued in a deadly soft voice. "My mind is the only thing in this world I can believe in. The only thing I can put my faith in. You want to shake my trust in it, so I'll trust you. And that's when you'll strike. Well I won't have it!" she suddenly shrieked, causing Ty Lee to flinch and stumble back from the bars. Azula bent down, lifted a handful of noodles from the tray of food and hurled it as hard as she could at her former friend. The wad hit her square in the face. "If Zuzu wants to kill me, let him come down here himself and end it!"

* * *

Ty Lee ran up the stairs leading to the palace's ground floor. She knew a few noodles dangled from her hair, but didn't bother pulling them out. For now, all she wanted to do was find Mai.

She just didn't know what to do; she'd never had to deal with anybody acting like this. What kind of fifteen year old was supposed to know what to do about all this?

As she drew nearer to Mai's room, she saw the girl quietly slip out the door. Ty Lee almost called out to her quiet friend, but decided against it at the last minute. Something in the way Mai moved told her that she should follow quietly. So she did. Several halls and corners later, Mai came upon a mostly white door. She glanced over her shoulder, but Ty Lee was already hiding behind a pillar. She watched as Mai pulled the door smoothly open just enough for her thin frame to slip inside. The door closed behind her.

Tearing her eyes free of her friend's destination, Ty Lee considered what she just saw. Obviously Mai didn't want anyone to know what she was doing. Still, Ty Lee doubted that Mai was up to anything bad; while she felt nothing one way or the other for her country, she loved Zuko, and wouldn't do anything against him. The acrobat had never seen that door before, but she had not seen much of the palace before, so that wasn't saying much.

So... what to do now? She couldn't go to Zuko; he was busy, and besides, he'd ask where Mai was. She didn't want to disturb Mai, but who knew how long she would be in there?

"Ty Lee?"

Whirling around, the girl saw the waterbender she and her friends had been pursuing only a few months ago. Her aura glowed emerald green around her, the color of the healer. "Oh, hey! Katara, right?"

"Yeah," the blue-eyed girl replied. "Listen, I'm here for my daily visit with Azula. Do you know where she is? She wasn't in the infirmary."

Daily visit? Suddenly Ty Lee remembered a conversation she'd had with Zuko, about how Katara could use waterbending to heal people, including their minds. "Oh, right!" she said. "We moved her to a room in the dungeons. Follow me!" Not what she'd had in mind, but at least she was doing something positive.

As they hurried through the halls, Katara worriedly asked, "The dungeons? Are you sure that's a good place for her?"

The slightly older girl shrugged. "Best place we could think of," she replied. "It's close by so we can keep an eye on her, and secure so we don't have to choose between keeping her tied down or worrying about her escaping."

"I guess."

"Listen," Ty Lee began, coming to a sudden halt. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for, you know, chasing you, and what happened in Ba Sing Se."

"It's okay," Katara assured her.

"No, it's not! Mai and I, at least, knew what we were doing was wrong." Grey eyes met blue, willing the latter to understand. "We knew the consequences of our actions, but we did them anyway. We did it for Azula. At least, I know I did, and I'm pretty sure she did too. I didn't go just out of fear, and I doubt Mai just went out of boredom. You didn't know her when she was little, but Azula wasn't always power-hungry like this. She used to be just a kid. A kid who liked me better than all my sisters, who could look at all of us and pick me out by name." She sucked in a deep breath, having run out of air during her speech. "So anyway, I just want to say I'm sorry, and I think it's great you're willing to help her like this."

Katara started walking again, prompting Ty Lee to do the same. "It's nothing, really," she said. "It was easy to see that she's hurting over something, and I can't just turn my back on that."

Yep, Ty Lee thought, that's the aura talking. "Right down here," she guided, leading the way down the stairs. "Oh, and just to warn you, she's not in a very good mood. I can take her down if I have to, but I'd really rather not."

"Oh, is that why there's noodles in your hair?" Katara teased. "I figured you were just a messy eater."

"So now you're consorting with the enemy Ty Lee?" Azula seemed to have calmed down from her recent outburst. "It seems I'm entirely too easy to replace. Either that, or you're as fickle with friends as you are with men."

"Nobody's replacing you, Azula." That reply came, surprisingly enough, from Katara. "We're here to help, that's all."

"What, to mess with my head again? Sully it with your waterbending?"

Stiffening her resolve, Ty Lee used a commanding tone with her friend for the first time. "Listen, Azula," she ordered. "Katara is going to treat you, whether you cooperate or not. We both know I'm faster than you, and if Katara and I both work together, you don't have a shot at escaping or stopping this. So you can either go along with it willingly, or I can humiliate you. It's your choice."

The princess sighed. "I see I have no choice," she acquiesced. "Fine, come in. I won't struggle."

"Good." Pulling Azula's cell key from her pocket, she quickly unlocked the door.

And was greeted by Azula shoving her way through the door. Before she got two steps away from the door, Ty Lee had already executed her paralyzing jabs. The prisoner hit the floor with a _thud_.

"Did you really think I was that stupid?" Rather than wait for an answer, she nodded Katara forward.

"Stop it!" Azula demanded imperiously. "I won't let you fog my mind! _Get your filthy hands off me_!"

Ty Lee was sickened by what she saw. Not the water entering her friend's head; that she could deal with. But seeing her lying there, helpless against something she didn't want... it was like watching a rape of sorts. Was a mental violation justified if it was for her own good?

Soon it was over, but not soon enough for Ty Lee. Once Katara withdrew, she and the acrobat lifted Azula and placed her on her bed. Ty Lee locked the door behind her.

Once they made their way up the stairs, Katara turned to Ty Lee. "I hate to say this," she said, "but I really don't think I can do much for her anymore. I managed to heal her the other day because a part of her didn't want to live the way she was. But now, she's too stubborn to want to improve anymore." She sighed, and cast a worried glance down the stairs they had just ascended. "I'm afraid the act of restraining her like that could cause more damage than I could heal."

Ty Lee nodded in agreement. "It has to be traumatizing," she considered. "Having your mind invaded and being unable to do anything about it. But... you don't think she'll get better?"

"Who can say?" was the rhetorical reply. "But I do know that if she's going to get better, she's got to want it. And the only way to do that is to get her to trust you, and to find the root of the problem."

"Thanks. I'll be sure to tell the others. I guess we can cancel those daily sessions from now on, but that doesn't mean you can't visit."

"Oh, I'm sure I won't be a stranger," the waterbender replied with a hint of smugness. "My boyfriend is the Avatar, after all."

"Hey, what are you saying about me?" The yellow-robed boy rounded a corner and waved at the duo. "All good things, I hope."

As the two leaned in close for a quick kiss, Ty Lee stiffened in surprise for the second time that day. Like Zuko's and Mai's, these two had auras that reacted to each other's! Their contact only lasted an instant, but Ty Lee was sure of what she had seen. Rather than blending, however, Katara's green and Aang's yellow _resonated_. The only other way to describe it was that their colors got brighter and richer and more vibrant, all at once. It was as though they brought out the best in each other's spirits.

Ty Lee would have to start paying a _lot_ more attention to couples from now on.

* * *

Mai left the library fully satisfied with the day's work. She still had a while to go emptying the shelves and organizing the materials into piles, since there were several thousand books and scrolls to choose from, but she had made some definite progress. Some of the materials would have to be replaced; it was obvious that they had not been touched in decades, and some were cracked and faded almost to the point of being unreadable.

Judging by the angle of the sunlight pouring through the windows, she still had an hour before sundown. One hour to wash the dust off of herself before Zuko would be released from his duties.

She knew that staying at the palace was a bad idea. Rumors of illicit activities with the Fire Lord would soon circulate the nation, if they hadn't started already. Her parents would only put up with it because having a daughter as the favorite of their leader would increase her father's reputation. If Zuko dumped her, however (something he wouldn't do if he knew what was good for him), her own would be ruined. And then she would be scolded for her foolish actions.

As she approached her room, Mai noticed that the door was open a crack. She had been sure to close it completely as she left for the library. Pushing it open further, she saw Ty Lee sitting on her bed, her hair slightly damp. Normally the weapons expert would be irritated at the intrusion, but she knew Ty Lee was smart enough to not invade her space unless it was important.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's Azula," Ty Lee replied. Mai nodded, figuring as much. "Katara, that waterbender, said she can't really help Azula out any more. So I said she didn't have to come anymore. Do you think that's okay?"

Mai examined her friend's open face. Ty Lee's expression was unusually grave, which meant that Ty Lee wasn't just taking the Water Tribe girl's word for it. She'd seen something. "It's probably fine," she replied. "Tell me what happened, so I can keep Zuko updated when he gets out."

* * *

Azula picked at her fingernails in a vain attempt to get all the grime out from underneath them. Despite the day's sponge bath, she still felt absolutely vile.

"My kingdom for a hot shower and manicure," she muttered, glancing up as she heard footsteps approach.

"It's not yours to give," her brother informed her. As though the fact wasn't glaringly apparent.

The look in Zuko's eyes gave her pause. Anger was a familiar sight in them, but she had never seen them shine so coldly before. "Well, well, big brother. Have you finally grown a backbone after all?" Rather than reply, he knelt down and slid a tray of food into her cell through a slot at the bottom of the bars. Azula raised an eyebrow at him. "You know, when I said you should try and kill me yourself, I was thinking more of a struggle to the death, one way or the other. Not for you to deliver the poison and watch."

The plume of flame that arced toward her face made her fall back a step. The heat of it made her eyes water.

"Shut up!" Zuko pressed his face up close to the bars, and Azula considered how easy it would be to give him a matching scar on his right side. "Why can't you get it through your head that all we want to do is help you get better? Instead of trying to decipher some nonexistent plot on your life, why don't you try trusting us for once?"

Her response? She laughed. She laughed herself breathless, until her sides hurt and her eyes watered. Once it subsided into chuckles, she addressed her brother properly.

"Fine. If you want me to eat that badly, I'll eat. After you sample everything on my plate." Plucking a dumpling from the tray, she handed it to her brother, who ate it without hesitation. Next came a few strands of noodles, and then some bamboo chutes and mushrooms. Once she was satisfied that he ate the pieces she selected without any averse affects, she ate for the first time in days.

It wasn't that she trusted them, she thought as her brother left. But if she was going to die anyway, it might as well be with a full stomach. Her hunger was so intense she was almost ready to believe anything they told her. If she ate, she could keep her wits about her to discover exactly what they had planned. Poisoned food didn't seem to be it, though she fully intended to keep testing it, but if it wasn't that, it had to be something else.

A/N: I am MISERABLE with how this chapter ended. I have no idea how I wanted it to end, but this wasn't it. Still, I had to get her eating somehow. Anyway, sorry for the delay getting this out. Turns out I occasionally have a social life. Who knew. Anyway, off to do housework (always easier when everyone's asleep), and then I'll try and start the next one.


	4. Root of the Problem

A/N: Okay, it's morning and I'm ready to go. I needed the sleep. Stupid Lovecraft.

Chapter 4: Root of the Problem

Ty Lee awoke gradually to the sound of screams. She groaned as she glanced out the window and saw that it was pitch black out.

Judging by the fact that Azula had stopped screaming words and was now just shrieking incoherently, this had been going on for a while. Her hallucinations had been getting worse since Zuko had gotten her to start eating, and Ty Lee had unwillingly adapted to sleeping through the noise after the first three restless nights.

Being in such close quarters with the girl, she had come to notice that Azula never hallucinated when she, Mai or Zuko was around. They had tried posting guards around her to see if their presence would help, but it didn't.

The problem, thought Ty Lee, was that they didn't know who the "she" Azula was seeing was. At first they had thought it was Katara, but the princess had refuted that theory. So now they were back to square one. They all knew that this woman was the key to Azula's recovery. But if she kept insisting that they knew her, had formed some sick alliance with her, what could they do?

* * *

Mai spent the day, as usual, in the palace library. It had become a kind of routine; she and Zuko would spend an hour together in the morning, before he was called away to his duties. Mai would spend the day reading, sorting and dusting, take a bath an hour before Zuko was free to rid herself of all of the dust, and they would spend another hour together before spending time with Azula, letting Ty Lee have some time to herself.

At first, Mai had felt badly about having Ty Lee spending all of her time in the dungeons, but the girl had insisted that it wasn't a problem. She wanted to do it. The acrobat wasn't one to take on burdens unless she truly had a reason to, so Mai had left it at that. Besides, as much as she wanted Azula to get better, right now there was nothing she could do. At least here, she could make visible progress solving the problem of the abandoned library. With Azula, they were stuck at a standstill.

As she knelt to empty the bottom level of texts off of the shelf she was working on, she noticed a corner of paper protruding from behind a board. Giving the plank an experimental tug, she noted that the wood had warped in place. Her sharp red nails would easily break if she used them to wedge it open. With a sigh, she pulled a throwing knife out from under her over-tunic. Reluctant though she was to damage the weapon, she had to see what was under the bookshelf.

It took a few tries, but eventually Mai managed to wrench the board free. A small pile of various knickknacks cluttered the small area, and Mai pulled them out one by one. A half-scorched stick, a doll so badly burned it was hardly recognizable as Earth Kingdom, a book of drawing paper and various wells of finger paint long since dried, a tube of lipstick (Azula's color), and a crystal bottle which, upon closer inspection, contained perfume.

Mai recognized the doll; she had seen Azula throw it in the dust on the same day Zuko had started playing with a small ivory knife. Obviously these things all belonged to her friend. This must have been where Azula spent her time when Mai and Ty Lee weren't around, liking the spot for the exact same reason Mai did: because nobody else knew about it.

On a whim (when was the last time she had done anything on a whim?), the weapons master flipped through the pages of the sketch book. The early ones were typical drawings a young girl would create: flowers, her family, a turkey-goose made from a tracing of her hand. Gradually, though, the pictures started to change; the family that had once been drawn together was now divided in two. The father watched with a smile as the daughter shot orange out of her hand, and the mother and son sat at a circle of blue that Mai could only assume was the turtle duck pond based on the green and yellow blobs floating on its surface. Soon the father was gone, and the little girl would watch her brother and mother with an angry frown on her face.

The last picture was what really caught Mai's attention. Azula was sitting in a chair while her mother stood behind her, one hand in her daughter's hair and the other holding a stick with lines coming out of it. A hairbrush, she assumed. But underneath them was a picture of Zuko, surrounded by orange zigzags. His eyes were a pair of black X's.

This came as a surprise to Mai. Azula had never even hinted at any anger towards her mother or jealousy toward Zuko. Could this be what the problem was?

Placing all of the other items where she had found them, Mai quickly left the room, shutting the door behind her. This wasn't going to wait until the end of the day. Zuko would hear about this now, and they would immediately do something about it.

Her steps took on a hurried pace, a rarity for her outside of battle. She knew the way to the audience chamber by heart, despite having not gone there frequently; if there was an emergency, she wanted to make sure she would be right there with Zuko. Some of these guards were so inept it was a wonder they didn't have assassination attempts daily.

Blowing past the guards without so much as a second glance, she shoved her way through the curtain, ignoring their cries of "Hey! Miss!" Seeing only Jeong Jeong discussing matters with the Fire Lord, she immediately stepped forward and interrupted.

"I need Zuko. It's important," was all she said.

Jeong Jeong, probably realizing that Mai wouldn't interrupt unless absolutely necessary, murmured, "We can continue this later," and bowed out of the room. Zuko stepped through the flames before him and descended to Mai's level.

"What is it?" he asked. Rather than replying, the girl handed her boyfriend the sketchbook. He flipped through it, a frown marring his features. When he finished, he shut it and handed it back. "So you think this might be the problem?"

Mai shrugged. "Who knows? But it's the only lead we've got."

Nodding in agreement, Zuko shed his formal robes. "Alright," he said. "I've got to go visit my father. I'm pretty sure he knows where Mom is, and if she's still alive I've got to go find her." His lips met hers for a quick kiss. "Will everything be okay without me?"

"Ty Lee and I will be fine watching Azula," she assured her boyfriend. "And as for Jeong Jeong, you'd know that better than I would."

He nodded. "Aang isn't here, and I can't ask him to ferry me around again. I'll be going by boat. I'll send you a messenger hawk from the Boiling Rock to let you know where I'm going and when I should be back."

"Just don't go getting yourself into trouble," Mai told him. "I don't feel like traveling halfway across the world to save you again."

* * *

Azula gritted her teeth in frustration as her mother left her once more. They were getting bolder, all of them. She supposed that they perceived her eating as a victory, as a sign of weakness. So they sent her mother in far more often now, saying more things to enflame her temper. All the while, her idiot brother and traitor friends insisted on feigning ignorance. For a lesser person, it would be maddening.

For her, it was just tiring. If she was honest with herself (which she rarely was), she would admit that it was downright exhausting. Every encounter with the former princess was emotionally draining, no matter if she was stubbornly loving, bitterly disappointed or some mix of the two.

She spent all of her energy on these encounters, and could hardly be bothered with keeping herself relatively well-groomed. A few splashes of water to rid herself of smell were all she really bothered with. Her hair was once again a mess, her nails bitten to the quick (a habit she'd dropped years ago), and her face was covered in small breakouts. She had _never_ had breakouts.

"Geez, you really shouldn't look in a mirror."

Azula hated how unalert she had become; she hadn't even heard Mai approach.

"I could say the same for you," she shot back pettily. "At least I'm stuck in this filthy cell. What's your excuse?"

"Clever, Azula. A face joke. I hope you're not going to start with the 'your mom' jokes; those might _really_ hurt."

"What do you want?" the prisoner snapped. "Or are you just here to insult me?"

"I wanted to see if you recognized this."

Azula's eyes focused on the sheaf of papers in Mai's gloved hand. "Where did you get that?" she demanded angrily. "You had no right - "

"To go in the library?" Mai tucked the notebook into one of her wide sleeves. "Why would you think you're entitled to any kind of privacy there?"

Azula remembered going there often as a child. It was a place where no one would look for her, since no one had been in there for years. At first she had largely ignored the books and scrolls there; what good would they do a child who was just learning to read? No, she was content to draw, to explore, to make little forts with the books she could reach.

That all changed the day she found a pile of firebending scrolls. She knew her father liked it when she and Zuko firebended, and in fact the two of them often competed for his attention. Despite his having two years on her, she could hold her own against her brother. So, she reasoned, why not get a little head up on the competition? She spent hours following the scrolls' commands, regulating her breathing, perfecting the stances in front of a mirror, her desire to outdo her brother and please her father stoking the flames. As she had predicted, the Fire Prince had been downright excited when he saw her sudden improvement only a few weeks later.

What she hadn't counted on was his complete dismissal of Zuko, focusing all of his attention on his daughter. At first, Azula hadn't cared; she'd worked hard, and this was her reward. But then her mother spent all of her time with Zuko, and eventually her father's time was replaced with that of various firebending teachers.

She remembered watching them together: playing, talking, feeding the turtle ducks. Not that it bothered her; she had her father's attention. She was the favorite, and if Grandfather and Uncle just got out of the way, she would be the favorite of the Fire Lord. Who needed a mother when the father was in a position of power?

"So that's what this is all about, is it?" Azula asked finally. "Mother and Zuko are angry because of a few doodles I drew, and want revenge? And people call me the petty one."

Mai didn't bother to respond; Azula wouldn't believe her anyway.

"When will you tire of this game?" the princess continued. "It should be obvious by now that I will not be broken. Doesn't this get old?"

"We'll give it a couple more weeks," Mai suggested. "Don't worry. You'll know when things change."

* * *

Zuko stood at the front of the ship, staring off at the island straight ahead. He had gotten the information of his mother's whereabouts from his father and left that very day a week ago. Fortunately the crew for his personal ship had already been hand-selected by him shortly after he had accepted the crown, so he had not had to waste time with that.

"My Lord," a rough voice addressed him from behind. "We shall be docking at Méi Kuàng shortly."

Zuko turned to his trusted Commander, taking in the stern visage and grey hair shorn shorter than the longer styles most Fire Nation men preferred. "Thank you, Commander Ji."

The older man bowed to his superior and walked away. Zuko's gaze slid back ahead.

How many times had he envisioned this moment over the years? Most of that time had only been wishful thinking; it wasn't until the day of the solar eclipse that it had become a real possibility. But now it was about to happen. To think, he'd finally found the only thing he'd ever desired more than his honor.

As the ship pulled into the dock, Zuko abandoned his spot to help tie it up. Some of the crew members looked at him oddly, no doubt wondering why the Fire Lord would stoop to helping on his own ship. Zuko couldn't help but notice, however, that everyone he'd hired from his old crew – those who had survived the siege on the North Pole – didn't give him a second glance, though he had done little on his old ship.

Hardly waiting for the ramp to be lowered to the wooden docks, Zuko jogged down, eyes darting around, taking in the wooden-framed stone buildings and small farms. His gaze wandered to the people, searching for the messenger hawk he had sent a week before. He had sent a note ahead alerting the town of his imminent arrival, not wishing to cause undo alarm, and had asked that a guide await him at the docks with the hawk.

Sure enough, a green-clad young man stood nearby with the messenger hawk perched on his forearm. The ocean breeze stirred his long brown hair, and as Zuko approached he got the impression of familiarity. This teen, maybe a little younger than the Fire Lord himself, had traveled with the Avatar for a short time. His name was...

"Haru?"

The earthbender grinned. "The village decided that since we'd met before, I should be the representative. Welcome to Méi Kuàng, Fire Lord Zuko."

"Thanks." The two shook hands briefly. "Did all the people from your village make it back from the Fire Nation?" Zuko had released all of the prisoners from the Day of Black Sun the day he'd ascended to the throne, as well as providing ships from his personal fleet to return them to their various homes.

The younger boy nodded. "Yeah, they all got back safely. So what brings you here?" he asked, changing the subject. "Your note didn't give any specifics."

Zuko rifled around under his vest, glad he had chosen to forego the voluminous robes his title demanded. Finding the scroll he was looking for, he unfurled it to reveal the face of a beautiful woman in her mid thirties. "I'm looking for my mother," he said. "I was told she should be here."

Haru studied the image closely before his face lit up in recognition. "That's Ursa!" he exclaimed. "She's your mother?"

"Yeah." Zuko frowned even as his stomach jolted with happiness. "She didn't change her name?"

Haru shrugged. "I guess not," he said. "We all kind of knew she was Fire Nation – how many Ursas are there in the Earth Kingdom? - but she was starving and barely standing when she got here. So we took her in."

Nodding, Zuko asked, "Is she still here?"

"Yeah, I'll take you to her," the earthbender offered. He lead the Fire Lord through the busy streets, the occasional stares and whispers following them. The Fire Lord? Here? And without his finery or escorts? Next thing you knew, the Earth King would be living out in the wilds.

As they neared the outskirts of the town, distant strains of an old Fire Nation lullaby reached Zuko's ears. The house they approached looked newer than the others – less than ten years old. A gated area behind the building was obviously meant to be a vegetable garden, though currently no plants grew yet. A woman was currently attacking the dirt with a hoe, tossing out any rocks she found.

"I'll leave you two alone," Haru murmured, slipping quietly away.

This was it. All these years of wishing, of waiting, of wondering. It all came down to this moment. Heart pounding, throat dry, Zuko managed to choke out one word.

"Mom?"

* * *

"Hey, Poofy-Pants! Have you seen Twinkle-Toes?"

Ty Lee slipped easily back to her feet as the young earthbender addressed her. Luckily she'd memorized all of the nicknames Toph had given everyone. "Aang? No, sorry, he hasn't been around for a couple weeks. What's up?"

Toph shrugged. "Just hoping to return the flying rat to him," she said. "Hope Sparky doesn't mind, Momo's raiding the moon peaches."

"Nah, that's fine," Ty Lee assured her. She glanced down at the package clutched in the young girl's hands. "What's that?"

"Oh, this?" Despite clutching the cloth-wrapped object closer, her voice took on a casual tone. "Oh, you know, Sokka lost his boomerang while we were fighting, so I figured, why not have a new one made?"

Ty Lee noticed Toph's cheeks redden, and took a close look at her aura. While the orangey-red color darkened slightly at the mention of the Water Tribe warrior, it didn't react in any other way. So that was an unrequited crush. Rough.

"You know," the acrobat began, "I'll probably be going back to Kyoshi in a few weeks, depending on how soon Azula gets better. If you want, I could give it to him for you, say who it's from." Sure, Ty Lee thought he was a cutie, but she didn't have it nearly as bad as Toph did. Besides, while she loved the attention she got from men, she didn't go after other girls' boyfriends.

"Nah," the girl refused. "Wouldn't want Suki to think something's going on." She handed the bundle to Ty Lee, who opened it after a glance of permission. She gasped at the black sheen of the metal. "Just say his old master had some leftover space rock."

Ty Lee nodded. "So what are you going to do next?" she asked. "I mean, we haven't really known each other, but it seems like everybody's separating." She shifted into a more comfortable position – balancing solely on her elbows, with her feet resting on the top of her head.

Toph shrugged in response. "Probably go see my parents," she said. "I kind of ran away, and they're probably worried. Besides, now that I can metalbend, the only way they can keep me caged up is if they keep me in a wooden cage out of reach of any earth. And they'll have to put up one hell of a fight to get me!"

Ty Lee giggled at the girl's fervor. "Hey, you know, if you want, we can send letters back and forth. That way if anything happens, I can come and kick some nobility butt!"

Toph's face brightened so fast it started the pink-clad girl. "Oh yeah!" she cried enthusiastically. "Just give me a couple days to learn to read, and we can get right on that," she continued, waving a hand in front of her sightless eyes.

Horrified, Ty Lee gasped out, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! It's just that you're so aware of everything around you, so it's easy to forget!"

"Pfffft." Toph waved a dismissive hand. "I get it all the time. Don't worry about it." She collapsed onto her back with a loud _thump_ and asked, "So what about Sweet n' Psycho? I heard she went nutso. How's she doing?"

"Not so great," Ty Lee admitted. "She stopped eating again, and she's hallucinating more and more. She's still coherent, still talking, but we really need Zuko and his mom back here."

"His _mom_?" Toph scoffed. "How's his mom going to make things better?"

"I don't know," the acrobat responded. "But we're hoping to find out."

* * *

The woman in green straightened, rubbing her back with a quiet groan.

"I'm sorry," she said, turning to face the boy behind her, "but I think..." Her voice trailed off as she took everything in – the red clothes, the golden hair ornament, the familiar but aged features, the amber eyes, the scar. "Zuko...? Is that you?"

Her gardening tool fell from lifeless fingers as her boy – no, her young man – vaulted over the fence and pulled her into a tight embrace. She clutched at his back just as tightly, tears seeping from her eyes into the fine brocade of his vest.

"Mom," he whispered harshly. "It's really you."

Pushing him back to arm's length, she murmured, "Here, let me get a good look at you." He had grown so much in the past seven years! He was several inches taller than her, and had filled out. His eyes bore a sense of maturity that exceeded his years.

What caught her attention most (and how could it not?) was the burn scar marring the left side of his face. It had the vague shape of a hand, as though someone had surrounded their hand in fire and pressed it to his eye. Her fingers gently brushed at the thick, uneven tissue. He flinched, but didn't pull away.

"What happened?"

Pulling her hand away, he shook his head. "Don't worry about it, Mom," he reassured her. "It's nothing."

Ursa's eyes took on a steely glint. As usual, Zuko tried to carry all of his problems himself. "Who did this to you?" she demanded, her voice low and deep.

With a sigh, Zuko voiced the very thing she had feared: "Father."

Rage boiled inside the former princess, such rage she had only known once: when Fire Lord Azulon had ordered her husband to murder her son. "If he isn't dead already," she muttered, "he'll wish he was by the time I'm through with him."

Zuko reeled back warily from her, and she realized belatedly that she had never really let him see this side of her, the side that would stop at nothing to protect her babies.

"I told you Mom, it's okay," he insisted. "In the end it actually helped me. We've got bigger things to worry about." At Ursa's questioning look, he elaborated. "It's Azula. She's... not doing so well. You need to come back to the Fire Nation."

"Zuko," she said, "I can't go back there. This is my home now."

She could tell by his crestfallen expression that she had disappointed him, but she could tell by looking that he no longer needed her protection. He was a man in his own right.

"Fine," he agreed, "but you've got to come back with me. At least for a little bit. For Azula."

Ursa agreed, wondering at his behavior. He had never been this concerned about his sister when he was younger. Either they had forged some sort of bond over the years, or there was something very wrong with her daughter.

* * *

Zuko still had a lot to think about.

They were planning to arrive back at the Fire Nation tomorrow morning, and arrive at the capital soon after. But he still hadn't understood Uncle Iroh's words!

Really, this whole situation was just a mess. How was he supposed to help his little sister heal when he hardly knew the person she had become?

She hadn't always been like this. Sure, they always competed for their father's attention, and sometimes that competition could get bitter on both ends, but the Azula he had known as a child wouldn't have wanted him _dead_. Something must have changed along the way.

He supposed it had started right around the time her firebending skills had drastically improved. That was when their family had stopped being happy, anyway. But she'd never even given any indication of being upset with him.

Come to think of it, it was around that time that she'd started teasing him for spending so much time with their mother, saying if he spent too much time with girls he's become one.

Urgh, how was he supposed to know how to help her when she never told the truth?!

...Wait a minute.

_Azula always lies._

She lied about everything. Why wouldn't she lie about her feelings? She'd always said Zuko's temper, his passion were weaknesses. Setbacks. Could it be that Azula merely hid her emotions like a soldier would hide a break in his armor?

Zuko remembered further back, to Uncle's words when he was imprisoned. The struggle between good and evil, borne of his bloodlines. Azula had the same blood running through her veins. The same conflict. She just hid it better.

He finally understood. To help Azula, he would have to view her life as though he were living it – to see what aspects of hers he had missed over the years.

_Azula always lies._ _Even to herself._

* * *

Azula threw the soup out of her cell, watching with satisfaction as the ceramic bowl shattered and her tainted meal slid down the wall.

She hated the stink in here, but she no longer allowed anyone in to change the wash water or empty the chamber pot. Who knew what the servants could tamper with when she wasn't looking? Scorpions in the chamber pot, acid in the small basin, poison in her food, the possibilities knew no bounds. She wouldn't even allow Mai or Ty Lee anywhere near her anymore; seeing them acting like they genuinely cared about her made her almost forget their betrayal.

Almost.

But then, they sent her mother to torment her in their stead. And where her former allies would leave if she got upset, the cold bitch she had once called a parent never did. She seemed to take some sort of joy from convincing Azula of her love, only to turn away in the next moment. The same sort of joy she'd once taken at making her dear brother's temper flare up.

She swatted the flies impatiently away from her face, and after a few minutes they decided to go for the easier targets: dirty water and human waste. With the way she looked and smelled, she doubted most people would view her as above even those disgusting creatures.

Her eyes darted to the soup on the opposite wall, a small part of her so hungry she wanted to force her way through the bars and lick it off. But mostly she hadn't eaten in so long she could no longer truly feel the hunger. Which was fine. The less she felt, the better.

Yes, she was emotionless, a machine. She wanted for nothing. No love, no companionship, no food, no comforts. _She needed nothing._

"But machines can't think for themselves." Agni, she was getting so sick of that woman's voice. "They need a master to work properly."

"Leave. Me. Alone. You. _Bitch_," she hissed.

"That's what you need, isn't it, love?" the voice soothed. "A master. Someone to accept you for the mindless drone you are. That's what I'm here for." Azula didn't look, but she knew her mother was spreading her arms for her, urging her to accept an embrace."

"I said _leave me alone_!" she screeched. "My mind is my own!"

She was so used to this routine that she knew the very moment the older woman was gone. Which was why it came as a shock when she heard her mother's voice again not a minute later.

"Azula... Spirits above, what's happened to you?"

A/N: Holy crap. I felt like I was channeling Azula at the end there. I don't think I've ever _felt_ a character like that. I'm not sure if I ever will again. That really tired me out. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter, cuz the next one or two will be difficult to write. They will get written (apparently other than pills, writing is the only thing that helps me sleep), but it might take time.


	5. Worse Before it Gets Better

A/N: So yeah, the first scene is gonna have a flashback in it cuz I forgot to put something in the last chapter. Whoops.

m(T) – I forgot to mention last chapter, Space Boomerang was the idea you gave me.

Chapter 5 – Worse Before it Gets Better

Zuko. Was going. To _kill_ that damn flying monkey. He was going to kill it, shove it on a stick, firebend it, and give it to Sokka. Meat on a stick was a delicacy to him.

The lemur had stripped one tree of its moon peaches and a bush of its rasp-cherries, scared all of the messenger hawks, trained to stay at their perches, into the trees, and stepped in a tray of ink before crawling _all over the audience chamber's walls_.

He now regretted giving his messenger hawk to Haru. Not that he'd had much choice.

_Once Zuko finished helping Ursa pack a few belongings, they made their way back down to the docks. Haru was waiting for them, leaning against the wall of a shop and stroking the hawk behind its ears. The bird was clearly in bliss, craning its neck to give the earthbender better access. Zuko noted that, though Haru didn't hold the leather bewits in his hand, the hawk seemed to have no desire for escape._

_Noticing the approach of mother and son, Haru lifted his hand in a casual wave. The hawk, affronted by its sudden lack of attention, bit the boy's thumb._

"_Ow!" he cried, sticking the thumb in his mouth before quickly resuming petting the ungrateful creature. "So Ursa, you're leaving?" Zuko noticed the anxious note in his voice._

"_Only for a little while," his mother assured him. "I have business to take care of in the Fire Nation, but then I'll be back."_

_The flood of relief in Haru's gaze sparked jealousy in Zuko. This was _his_ mother, not Haru's!_

"_Well, I guess I should return this lovely lady here," he said, holding out his forearm. Zuko did likewise, clucking his tongue in encouragement._

_The hawk glanced at Zuko's bare arm before butting its head against Haru's hand, demanding more affection._

_The latter grinned sheepishly. "It seems I've spoiled her a bit," he confessed. "Sorry, I tend to do that with animals. I've got some meat back in the house, you can - "_

"_Don't worry about it," the Fire Lord assured him. "I've got plenty back home. One hawk won't be missed."_

"_A-are you sure?" he stammered uncertainly. "Dragon hawks are expensive, and hard to train besides."_

"_I'm sure." With a sly smile toward his mother, he added, "Now when Mom comes back, she won't have an excuse not to write."_

_The woman chuckled. "Like I'd ever use an excuse not to write you." Turning toward Haru, she asked, "Will you be able to get my garden prepared for when I return?"_

_The boy nodded. "Planting season doesn't start for another few weeks," he reminded her, "and doesn't end for a month after that. If you're not back by then, I'll have everything in the ground for you."_

Now he had no way of sending word to his advisors and Jeong Jeong that he had returned. Or more importantly, one to Aang telling him to get himself back here and take the monkey off his hands. Ugh.

Ty Lee had already apologized several times once she discovered the damage Momo had caused, though Zuko assured her that it could have been worse. At least now, the beast was passed out on his throne.

* * *

"Back again already, are you?" Azula would have snorted if such an undignified sound could come from royalty. "You just get more and more persistent."

"What you think you've been seeing has only been hallucinations," the voice behind her stated firmly. She remembered that voice. It was the same voice that scolded her every time she picked on Zuko as a child.

"Hm, you've never gone this route before," she replied, remembering that so far only Mai, Ty Lee and Zuko had said she was hallucinating. "This must be the change Mai told me about. Not very convincing, let me tell you."

"Azula. Turn around."

Hmph. No harm in that. Doing as she was told, she saw the expected sight of her mother on the other side of the bars.

But... she was different. For one thing, she was no longer dressed like a member of Fire Nation royalty; now she wore the rough green and brown garments of an Earth Kingdom peasant. Her face lacked the makeup it had once worn, and had new lines around the mouth and eyes. And that sleek black hair, so like Azula's own, was streaked here and there with grey. But it was undoubtedly her.

Of course, the princess realized, she must have changed clothes and come back! A new method of attack!

But, a small niggling thought insisted, she was gone for only a few seconds. Not nearly enough time to change out of her elaborate robes, much less dye her hair and remove makeup.

Pushing that thought to the back of her mind, she regarded her mother more fully. Really, she must have been working on her acting; her concerned expression looked much more convincing than it had been even a few minutes ago.

"What do you want?" she finally asked.

"Zuko told me - "

"Ah yes," Azula snarled, "Zuko. No wonder he turned out the way he did, with the way you coddled him. I'm surprised he's lasted this long without calling darling Mommy and Uncle to clean up after him."

"Ty Lee tells me you haven't been eating," the older woman observed. "And you obviously haven't been bathing. Azula, love, you must take care of yourself or your body will give way to sickness."

"Don't call me that," she muttered for the thousandth time that week.

"As your mind seems to have done," her mother continued as though she had not been interrupted. She knelt on the filthy dungeon floor and reached a hand to her daughter. "Please, lovey. Just hear me out."

Azula stared at the proffered hand, considering. Her mother had not done this... since she'd found those firebending scrolls when she was five. When she had gone from being "unusually gifted" to "a prodigy." When she had cemented her father's growing favoritism for life. All these years, without a mother's touch. Slowly, tentatively, she reached out and grasped the warm extremity in her own cold one.

Without warning, she yanked on it as hard as she could, throwing her whole body into the effort. Her mother cried out in pain as she was slammed face-first into the unforgiving steel bars. The effort took a lot out of Azula, and she took a moment to catch her breath.

"Whether the yous I've been seeing are real or not," she ground out between clenched teeth, "doesn't matter one bit. What matters is that you left me nine years ago."

Despite the uncomfortable position, despite the fear she must feel, the former princess's voice was calm. "I only left you seven - "

"_Nine years!_" she bellowed, pausing to clear a sudden spell of dizziness. When she was sure the woman wouldn't argue again, she continued much more calmly. "But you're here now, for reasons I can't begin to fathom. And I will tell you now, any time you feel the urge to give me any sort of pet name – _especially that_ – I will instruct you in the ways of suffering. And I'll do it without firebending or torture devices." Her lips spread in a demented sort of grin. "I'll do it with my bare hands, and I'll enjoy every. Last. Second."

In her fervor she hadn't noticed the heat prickles spreading across her skin, and she'd attributed the slight nausea to not having eaten in so long. Still, when her vision started going dark around the edges, she couldn't ignore it anymore. She released her mother's hand as though she'd been burnt... or poisoned.

"What have you done to me?" she hissed, her voice sounding incredibly far away. Her range of vision was now only the size of her fist, and her breath came in labored gasps.

As the darkness overtook her vision completely, the last thing she heard was her mother crying out for help.

* * *

"I'm sorry," the court physician murmured. "If we can't get her to awaken long enough to eat, there's nothing we can do."

The sense of gloom in Azula's bedroom deepened perceptibly as the doctor exited. Ty Lee nibbled her lip nervously, never taking her eyes off of her friend. The occasional hiccup convulsed her frame. Ursa sat by her daughter's side, tears streaming down her face, stroking her hand gently. Zuko had that frown firmly in place, the one Mai easily recognized as the "I blame myself" scowl. She hated that scowl.

As for Mai, she stood in the furthest corner, observing. For once she was almost grateful to her mother for forcing her to learn to suppress her emotions. Right now, they needed someone to be strong. Someone to take care of her, and all of them. She resented taking on the role, but recognized that she was easily the best candidate.

"We should start by getting her cleaned up," she suggested. "Being that filthy will only make her sicker." With a wrinkle of her nose she added, "Besides, she smells disgusting."

Ursa stood reluctantly. "I'll get the bath water and soap," she offered, her voice hoarse. "I know where it is."

"She might not make it back," Ty Lee whispered as Ursa left the room. "Azula, I mean."

Zuko rounded on her. "You think we don't know that?" he demanded. "You think the rest of us don't see how thin she is? Agni, Ty Lee, her skin is _grey_!"

"I'm not talking about dying!" Ty Lee's face crumpled and reddened as she started crying in earnest. "Her aura is clear, and I can barely see it," she sobbed, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "It means her spirit's got a decision to make, and once she makes it, there's no going back. So this can only go one of three ways. Best case, she wakes up and isn't crazy anymore. Worst case, she's even more insane than before, and nothing will ever help her."

A shaken Fire Lord asked, "What's the third?" Obviously some part of him believed her.

A wet sniffle, then, "She starves to death before she gets to make the choice."

Zuko nodded absently. "I don't know what her decision is," he murmured, "but I hope it goes better than mine did."

Mai regarded him curiously. He'd been through something like this? Ty Lee echoed her question aloud.

"Yeah," he replied. "Back in Ba Sing Se. I got a fever and collapsed, just like her. But I wasn't dealing with a recent heat stroke, or starvation. Uncle took care of me the whole time."

"What did he do?" Ty Lee inquired.

Shaking his head, he said, "I was unconscious the whole time except when I needed water."

"Zuko. Go see if there are any birds left in the hawkery," Mai ordered. "Write to your uncle, and see if there's any information he can give us." Zuko didn't argue, heading out immediately to do as his girlfriend said. Mai turned to the only other conscious person left in the room. "Ty Lee. Go to bed."

The acrobat looked up, surprised. "What? I'm fine, Mai. I've got lots of energy."

It was true; she had taken to fidgeting the past few minutes. Much longer and she would be doing flips and bends most people would be awed by. But Mai had known the girl for long enough to know that, when she was tired, she would act like most people did after too many cups of energizing tea.

Instead of voicing all of this, she merely said, "You've barely had time to sleep over the past couple of weeks. You'll be useless to us if you're not well-rested."

Ty Lee seemed to accept this, as she immediately got up to leave the room, doing one cartwheel on the way. At the doorway she turned. "Promise you'll get me if you need me."

Mai nodded. She wanted her friend to be healthy, but wasn't going to sit around waiting for her to be ready if they needed her. "Go to bed," she repeated.

* * *

When Azula awoke, it was to the feelings of cool waves lapping at her feet and sand itching her scalp. Moaning in discomfort, she opened her eyes a crack, squeezing them shut again at the bright sunlight that invaded the space between her lashes.

She gave herself another few seconds, allowing the light to paint the insides of her lids orange, before trying again. This attempt met with success. A quick glance around her surroundings revealed that she was on a tiny island, devoid of all life. In fact, the volcano behind her seemed to take up the entire thing apart from the black-sand beach.

Where was she? How had she gotten here? By the looks of things, if she didn't get off this Agni forsaken rock soon, she'd starve to death. Or die of thirst, if there was no fresh water. She doubted there was.

"Be at peace, child. There is no need for food or drink here; in dreams, the being transcends the limitations of flesh."

"Who's there?!" Azula whirled toward the water, the source of the gravelly voice. There, sprawled awkwardly on the sand, was a... thing. Some blend of turtle and... something else. It looked rather dragon-like to her (at least according to pictures and sculptures she'd seen; she had never laid eyes on a dragon). About as long as Azula was tall, it was quite the imposing creature. "What are you?" she demanded.

"Your kind knows me as a lion-turtle," it responded in that rumbling voice. "I am here because you are lost. Though I am but an infant, I can guide you to more familiar ground, if you would have me."

An infant? The thing was huge as it was! Upon closer inspection, however, Azula took note of its smooth skin and thin-looking shell, its tiny claws and lack of teeth. If it was this large now, it must be immense once it was fully grown!

A sudden explosion pulled her attention from the turtle lion with a gasp. Turning her back on her potential guide, she faced the volcano in time to see a burst of gold descending from the peak. As it drew nearer, it started to take shape. The unmistakable outline of a bird of prey shone golden through plumes of smokeless flame. Once it was close enough for Azula to feel the heat of its flames, it addressed the lion turtle.

"You would risk the life of the Princess of the Fire Nation, soon to be Fire Lord, by swimming her across the treacherous water?" Turning toward Azula, it continued. "Don't be a fool, Princess. The beast has told you itself – it is a child. It is _weak_. I shall carry you across; the journey will be much easier this way." Assured of its persuasive powers, it turned its head from her and began preening the feathers on its back.

That was true enough. Besides, she was Princess of a Nation! Why should she be dragged along by some ugly beast when she could ride in style? Admittedly the lion-turtle wasn't hideous, but it had nothing on the captivating beauty of the phoenix. Still, the bird's flames brought a few questions to mind.

"If I fall," she said, "it would be straight into the water, somewhere you with your flames cannot go. What then?"

With a ruffle of its plumage it regarded her. "Obviously, if falling would leave you out of my reach and helpless, then falling is unacceptable behavior."

Azula stiffened. Though its voice was more honeyed in tone than her father's, his words were exactly something he would say. "Alright, but where can I hold onto you? You're covered with flames. I would be burned."

If a bird could snort, doubtless the phoenix would have. "You are a firebender," it replied scornfully. "If you cannot withstand your own element, then you are as weak as your brother."

Well, that decided it. Azula was no fool; she would not take something on just to prove that she could. Unlike her brother, she would not risk her own skin to prove some meaningless concept like bravery or honor.

"I must warn you," the lion turtle spoke up as she stepped toward it, "that, being newly hatched, I am still gaining strength. I will need you to help me, or we shall both drown."

Hmm. That wasn't such a nice concept, either. "But if I help, we will definitely make it across?"

The beast shook its head awkwardly. "I am sorry. I cannot promise that." It stared deliberately into her eyes, and a shiver ran down her spine. "Life is all about hard work, child. Thus far you have escaped it. You shall have to make up for it to reach the mainland."

Azula nodded, deciding then that the lion-turtle was the wiser choice. It wasn't that she trusted it more; honestly, the phoenix seemed more trustworthy in its disdain and unwillingness to help her. However, if she fell and the phoenix flew away, it was out of her reach. If the lion turtle tried to leave her, she had a chance of grabbing onto it before it got away.

"Fine," she agreed.

The phoenix laughed behind her back. "So, like so many of your family, you are to be no more than a disappointment. I had thought you would be different, but like Prince Zuko and General Iroh you are a traitor and a failure."

How dare the phoenix lump her in with those fools! With a cry of outrage Azula whirled and sent a well-aimed blue-flamed kick at the bird. It shrieked in pain before instantly collapsing into a heap of ash and dust.

Well. That was easy. Too easy, in fact. Azula was about to turn away when she saw something moving beneath the ashes. Some of it sifted aside, and an ugly, bald bird head poked out.

"Did you truly think to kill a phoenix with fire?" it asked with an amused chuckle. "With a part of _me_? Just as my flame is a part of you, so I am always with you. I cannot be vanquished in this way."

If Azula had thought the lion-turtle was ugly, it had nothing on the hideous baby bird before her. Beneath its beautiful golden plumage, the phoenix was no different than baby turtle-ducks fresh from the shell. Turning her back on the thing, she climbed onto the lion-turtle.

"Let's go," she said.

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter and the delay; I wrote the entire chapter completely differently but wasn't happy with it, so I started over and this is what I got. It was completely different than what I was planning, but I like the change. Let me know what you think – good, bad or otherwise.


	6. The Journey

A/N: Wow, I'm in a C2

A/N: Wow, I'm in a C2! I have no idea what that stands for, but it's still pretty awesome. Looleeloo.

Chapter 6 – The Journey

Sigh.

"Aren't we there yet?" Azula demanded.

With good reason. They had been traveling in this way for Agni knew how long (the sun never seemed to move in this place), the monotony only breaking up when the lion turtle, tired from carrying the extra weight, would ask her to get off its back and swim beside it. During these periods, the princess always made sure to clench one of its immense paws in one of her long-fingered hands. She'd be damned if this beast swam off without her.

Right now was not one of those times. Here she was, sprawled out as comfortably as she could be on a turtle's hard shell, shivering as the wind sapped the heat from her still-damp clothes. She couldn't wait until this miserable trip was over with so she could wake up and be in her nice, cozy... cell. Oh yeah.

"Patience, child," the lion-turtle chided. "Our destination has been within sight for some time now. It is simply a matter of time."

"You said that before," the princess reminded the beast. "Probably days ago, though who can tell when the sun never moves? And it feels like we've been slowing down. We'll never get there at this rate!"

The lion-turtle nodded in agreement. "You are starving to death," was all it said in way of explanation.

This, of course, led Azula to stiffen. "But you said there was no need for food here!" she yelled. And indeed, though she had been in the water for what felt like days, she had not once felt the pangs of hunger or thirst.

"In the realm of dreams, no. But your body has not awakened in many days, and therefore has not eaten or drank. The effort of your loved ones is all that keeps you alive and us from drowning."

"What does that have to do with you being slower than a dried out slug-sloth?"

"You are the type who does not easily accept concepts you do not physically experience," the lion-turtle replied. "If you did not see, touch, hear, taste or smell it, it did not happen. All of this is your spirit's effort to heal itself in a manner your mind will accept."

Right, thought Azula. Maybe there was something to this whole "crazy Azula" theory after all; this whole concept was insane.

"Myself and the phoenix included," it continued. "Since I am a part of you, as you weaken, so do I."

* * *

Ty Lee scrubbed her eyes with a wide yawn, checking up yet again on her best friend. Sure enough, she was thrashing again. Every so often Azula would start pumping her arms and kicking her legs, and her body temperature would decrease rapidly. Blankets and hot water bottles solved the latter problem, and the former tended to go away on its own after an hour or so.

With a groan, she stretched her stiff muscles and rose out of the straight-backed wooden chair that had been her home for the past five days. Of the four of them – herself, Mai, Zuko and Ursa – she had left Azula's side the least, pretty much only leaving to relieve herself. She could feel her muscles atrophying already, and she hated that she might lose her flexibility, but there was no way she could focus on bends and stretches when her friend could be dying, physically or spiritually.

She couldn't really blame Zuko for not being there; he did, after all, have a Nation to run. Even then, he handed some of his duties off to his advisors so he could spend more time with his sister. Mai was also making an effort to spend time helping out, and though she still spent an hour a day alone with Zuko, she had cut her hours behind those white doors down to three. Ty Lee couldn't begrudge the private girl some time to herself; it was about time she started doing something for herself, anyway, instead of being bored all the time.

Ty Lee did, however, have a problem with Ursa. Her daughter was _sick_, for crying out loud, but she couldn't spare more than two or so hours a day to spend with her? And every time she did come, she looked so uncomfortable that even the acrobat was squirming in her seat. From what Ty Lee could see from her aura, it wasn't that she didn't care, or didn't like Azula, but the wavering borders hinted at uncertainty. Still, as Azula's mom and the oldest one among them, she should be trying to take more responsibility.

But she guessed it wasn't really her business. She'd just keep watching over Azula til she got better.

"Hey," a voice called from the doorway. Ty Lee glanced up to see the blind girl, Toph, staring... well, not really at anything. "How's Sweet n' Psycho doing? I felt her thrashing around and thought I should help."

The acrobat waved a dismissing hand. "She does this now and then," she replied. "It'll stop in a while. All I've got to do is make sure she doesn't throw herself out of the bed." Which was one of the reasons they'd moved her to her bedroom. "All I've got to do is feed her tiny bits of broth now and then, so it's really a one-person job. I wouldn't mind some company, though."

A nod. "Fair enough." Toph dragged a chair over to the other side of the bed, causing Ty Lee to wince at the wooden legs scraping against the stone floor. Propping her feet up on the blanket covering Azula, she folded her hands behind her head and leaned back. "So how come you're here? Most people don't fly halfway across the world to help out a chick who's treated them like crap their whole life."

Ty Lee nodded reluctantly. "I know she can be really horrible," she agreed. "I mean, she killed a twelve-year-old boy, even if he wasn't exactly helpless at the time. And she's always been kind of mean..." Her eyes narrowed fiercely, an expression that felt wrong on her face. "But there's got to be more to her than that. For one thing, I can't believe that anyone is just pure evil. There's got to be good in everyone."

"What if there isn't?"

"That's the thing," the acrobat protested, "I know there is. Mai and I might not know every little thing about Azula, but we can both tell the important things. That's why we went with her."

The earthbender frowned, puzzled. "You told me the other day that she bullied you into going."

"Well... yeah, she did," the older girl admitted. "But that wasn't why I went. I've always been too fast for Azula; I could've disabled her and run away to some other circus or something. When I went with her, it was my choice. Because I know deep down that she wouldn't have put my life in danger unless she was desperate. Just like Mai didn't go just because she was bored, I didn't go just because I was scared."

"Wow," Toph muttered, mulling the new information over. Eventually she seemed to come to a conclusion, because she looked – or rather, turned her head – in Ty Lee's general direction and said, "You know, Poofy-Pants, growing a backbone won't keep you from doing all those freaky moves and stuff."

"What do you mean?"

Toph snorted. "I _mean_ that no matter how much you care about a person, you never let 'em walk all over you to spare their feelings. Cuz then it never stops and after a while you start getting bitter, 'til one day you hate them so much you don't give a damn what their feelings are."

Ty Lee could tell by the flickers of red bordering Toph's aura that she had experienced this firsthand, and that her parents had been the ones to do this. She was very familiar with the red border. Until recently, Mai and Zuko had both had it. She'd had it herself until she'd run away and joined the circus. But all of theirs had never been as prominent as Azula's. Hopefully her mother's presence could help with that, since Ty Lee sincerely doubted that Ozai would aid in Azula's recovery, willingly or otherwise.

"I guess," she conceded. "But a lot of what she did is probably because - "

"Who cares?" the green-clad girl interrupted. "So what if she's got mental problems that made her act like a jerk? The fact is she was still a jerk and can't be instantly forgiven for everything because of it. If you don't yell at her over it, she'll keep on doing it. Like a wolf-bear pup that pees on the carpet – you can't just excuse it because it doesn't know better. You've got to _teach_ it to know better."

The acrobat considered her new friend's words, gross though they were. They did make an odd sort of sense, she supposed. "I guess you're right." As though on cue, Azula's thrashing finally calmed. Once she removed all of the hot water bottles from under the blankets, Ty Lee lifted the small clay pot of broth from the nightstand and spooned some between the princess's lips. The fact that she could swallow small bits at a time was all that was keeping her alive at this point, though Ty Lee knew that that wouldn't last for much longer.

* * *

Azula was tired. Weak might be a better term, but she refused to use that word on herself. Every moment she lay on the lion-turtle's back or swam at its side sapped more and more of her strength, and all the while the mountains in the distance seemed to draw no closer. The cold water had a way of stealing all the warmth from her body, and if it weren't for her firebending she might have frozen to death by now.

However, if the choppy waves and dark clouds were any indication, then soon she'd be soaked through with no way of drying herself thoroughly. Wonderful.

"Isn't there any way to go around?" she asked.

"We will not last a longer route," the lion-turtle replied. "We are both weakening, and a roundabout route would be the end of us. The true path is often riddled with obstacles."

Speaking in riddles. Again. Azula prayed to Agni that, when she woke, she might never hear another riddle or cryptic speech as long as she might live. "How do you know we'll make it through this alive?"

"There is no knowing what has not yet come to pass," the infuriating beast replied. "But we have better chances of survival going through here."

Hmph. Either that, or this animal just wanted to abandon her where she had the least chance of survival. She clenched her hands tighter around the edges of the shell in response.

As soon as the first fat drop of water hit her nose, she knew that this would be no gentle, prolonged rain; this would be a violent squall, and the winds picked up to prove her hypothesis.

In a matter of minutes the waves were slamming into the duo, soaking Azula and attempting to drag her off of her impromptu steed. Eventually gripping the edges of its shell was no longer enough, so the princess wrapped her arms around its neck. Her hair was plastered to her face, but she dared not swipe it away.

"You must release me, child!" the lion-turtle cried in a strangled voice. "Else we shall both drown!"

"How do I know you won't leave me?" Azula shouted over the storm.

"You must trust me!"

"Trust is for fools!" the girl shrieked. "Every time I trust someone, they leave me!"

"But I cannot," the lion-turtle insisted. "I am a part of you, and cannot leave, so _release me_!"

In the end, Azula would not figure out exactly why she let go. Maybe the lion-turtle held some power over her. Maybe she realized that the beast seemed to know what it was talking about. Maybe she was just playing the fool one more time in putting her trust in someone.

But she did let go.

Before she could grab onto her companion's leg, a vicious wave greedily dragged her under the water. She frantically looked around – which way was up? It was dark in every direction! And her swimming skills were no match for this; pig-dog paddle wasn't even suited to fine weather!

As she was on the verge of releasing her scant lungful of air and inhaling water, a giant clawed foot rose from below her and shoved her up into air – sweet air! She greedily inhaled several lungsful before turning to confront her savior.

There, before her, was a face so _massive_ it boggled the senses. For a second she toyed with the possibility that the beast had saved her only to eat her, but then she really looked.

"Is that... you?" she shouted, realizing she didn't know the lion-turtle's name – if indeed it had one.

"Yes," it answered simply. "Climb onto my head, and we shall weather this storm."

Azula managed to leap from its paw to its face, and from there scramble up to the back of its neck, where its shell overhung enough to protect her from the worst of the rain.

* * *

"She's going to make it!" Ty Lee squealed.

Zuko lifted his head slightly, exhausted from late nights and long days. "How can you tell?" he asked.

"Her aura's starting to show through," the acrobat replied. "And almost all of the sickness is gone!" Granted, the red and blue churned like before, hinting at confusion, and the colors were still faint, but she had pulled through. If they could just keep her alive long enough for her to wake up, she could get better!

The only thing that worried her was that the red barrier surrounding her aura still remained strong and unbroken. Still, the madness was dispelled for the most part, meaning they could finally get through to her!

"Zuko, Ty Lee," Mai suddenly spoke up. "You've both been working too hard. Go get some sleep and I'll watch her."

Zuko nodded, apparently too tired to argue, and gave Mai a quick kiss before leaving. Ty Lee followed, but stopped at the doorway.

"Will you send somebody for me if she wakes up?" she asked, anxious to see her friend.

The projectile master nodded. "I'll get one of the guards outside the door," she replied.

* * *

Ursa overheard the good news from the courtyard below her daughter's window. A relieved sigh ghosted through her lips. Though she didn't know the first thing about auras, Ty Lee seemed to know what she was talking about, so the former princess would trust her judgment. It wasn't as though any of them had any other ideas; even Zuko's letter to Iroh had helped little, only saying that the fever needed to run its course.

As for Ursa herself, she had been little help over the past two weeks. If she was honest with herself, she would admit that she had been actively avoiding her daughter's bedroom since the first day.

It wasn't that she didn't love her daughter, or care if she survived; she did. In fact, she had spent most of the two weeks right in this spot, within earshot of every new development and easy reach in case of an emergency.

No, love was not the problem. The problem was... she didn't know how to deal with Azula. She hadn't known before she left the Fire Nation, when she saw her little girl every day. Now... seven years had turned that little girl into a ruthless stranger, if the accounts she'd heard were accurate. How could she get through to this stranger when she couldn't even get through to the girl she'd raised from birth?

"Is this where you've been all this time? Right outside?" an angry voice demanded.

Ursa turned to see Ty Lee standing there, angrier than she'd ever seen the girl. Though the only light in the moonless night came from Azula's window, it was obvious from looking at her that she'd been neglecting herself for her friend; her eyes were lined with dark circles, her normally perky braid was skewed with wisps of hair escaping it, and her skin was paler than usual.

"I didn't want to be too far," Ursa explained, "in case - "

"Save it!" Ursa gasped at Ty Lee's interruption; she had never heard the girl raise her voice to anyone before, much less an elder. "We dragged you halfway across the _world_ so you could help your _daughter_, and you just stand here and listen? What kind of mother are you?" Her voice thickened, and a few tears spilled onto her cheeks. "Is this how it always was?" she demanded. "Always there for Zuko, never there for Azula? Is this why she's so messed up inside?"

Ursa was about to protest, when she really considered the question. No, it had not always been like this, she knew. It had started when Ozai had begun to favor Azula, when her already phenomenal skills as a firebender took off to unprecedented heights. Zuko had wilted at his father's sudden rejection, and Ursa had had to make up for the lack. In her concern for her son, she realized, she had done the exact same thing to Azula.

Before she could reply, a guard dashed toward Ty Lee. "Excuse me, my lady," he entreated, dropping to one knee, "but Miss Mai has told me to inform you that Princess Azula is about to awaken."

The girl positively glowed for a moment, before turning such a cold look at Ursa that the woman retreated a step. "You stay out of there," she ordered. "Until I know how she is, I don't want you screwing her up." With a sudden whirl, the girl flounced back through the door she had come from.

Ursa didn't argue. This newfound revelation plagued her mind, and she needed some time to think about how she would confront her daughter... and make up for her past mistakes.

* * *

Weak.

That was how Azula felt. Even before she opened her eyes, she could tell that she had no strength in her limbs. She felt hot and clammy, shifting uncomfortably underneath a heavy blanket. Noticing how much softer this bed felt, she blearily opened her eyes and was met with the familiar red canopy of her own large bed.

"Azula! You're awake!"

Before she could react, she was covered in a mass of pink. What was more surprising was the dark red form that enfolded both of them in its arms.

"Ty Lee? Mai?" she managed to rasp. A sob from the former and a tighter grip from the latter confirmed her suspicions. Were they really this upset about her illness? Why?

Each let go of her several moments later, and Mai propped her up and held a glass to her lips.

Not questioning – she was so thirsty – she drank greedily from the cup, noting that it was peach mango – her favorite. She turned her head away when she had her fill, lying back into her pillows and entering a peaceful slumber.

A/N: So for days I only managed to get a couple pages done, but I guess I got inspired; I did the rest today. Anyway, expect some forward motion (finally!), blah blee bloo. Also, there's a lot of symbolism in Azula's "dream," if you couldn't tell. I know what I intended everything to represent, but I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions. Being told spoils all the fun.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: This chapter is a flashback sandwich: present on the beginning and end, flashbacks all through the middle. Cuz I need to get the plot rolling and drag Haru back into this (don't worry, he should be here to stay either next chapter or the one after).

Chapter 7 – Objects and Confrontations

Bangs. She had bangs now.

Azula had finally been allowed out of bed today after three miserable days of being too weak to move and another of being told she wasn't ready yet.

Now that she was finally allowed out of bed (but not out of the room), her first order of business was to look in the mirror. She had spent the past ten minutes standing just out of line with her vanity, telling herself that she just didn't want to know if her bangs were ridiculously thick like Mai's.

That was, of course, part of it. But if she was honest with herself – a practice she was unaccustomed to – she would admit that she just didn't want another hallucination of her mother.

She could now see that these were hallucinations; her mother looked so different now, but the image she saw of her looked exactly as she had before she'd abandoned her only daughter. Now her face was tanned and lined, her hair was streaked with gray, and her clothes were made of cheap linen and wool rather than silk.

Something in her had changed since she'd woken from her fever dream. Maybe she had awakened in more ways than one. Though she was still uncertain whether she trusted those around her, though she still was taunted by visions of her mother, she now knew the truth. She knew in her head that her friends would not betray her again, that her mother would not abandon her as she had twice before.

It was getting her heart to believe it that was the problem.

She was still as sick as she was before, she knew. Still paranoid, still hallucinating. And the fact infuriated her. The only true difference was that now she _wanted_ to get better. For years, she had relied on her mind more than anything else. The fact that it was no longer working properly was driving her... well, not crazy. She'd crossed that line weeks ago.

Azula eyed the small pile of her things on the vanity. There was her makeup, of course, her comb and hair ribbon, and the occasional piece of jewelry for parties, but very little in the way of personal items. The same went for when she had traveled. Only necessities, no objects of sentimental value. She couldn't say the same for everyone else she knew. Mai always traveled with a picture of Zuko, and Ty Lee had never gotten rid of that ridiculous gold-leaf flame headdress from the circus. Even Zuko never went anywhere without that knife Uncle had given him.

Even after all these years, that tiny dagger could still ignite a spark of jealousy in Azula's chest. Who wanted a stupid doll to play with, when they could have a knife like that?

That charred doll was actually on her vanity now, along with all of the other items Mai had found in her spot in the library.

* * *

"_Thought you might want these back," the weapons master said, placing the small pile of items on her lap._

_Azula was appalled to feel her cheeks heating up at the thought of anyone finding these personal possessions of hers. Nobody had gone into the library for years; that was why she had used it as a child. Her own secret place, where nobody could find her. She examined each item one by one, reliving childhood memories._

_When she finished, she noticed that Mai was still in the room, watching her. If she'd only come to drop off these little knick-knacks, she would have left by now._

"_Whatever you're going to say, say it and get it over with." This was as close as Azula got to being encouraging._

"_I get everything else," Mai began, "but why the lipstick? You could have it made for you any time."_

_Azula's first instinct was to make a biting remark about the wonders makeup would do for Mai. She swallowed the comment down. What purpose would it serve? Yes, Mai's facial structure was unconventional, but not really ugly. Besides, she didn't care about her appearance anyway._

_And really, Azula was sick of being alone. As much as she loathed the part of her that admitted that, she now realized that she couldn't do everything alone. She had come to realize that she had been depending on people all her life. For Agni's sake, she couldn't even put her hair in a simple topknot without mucking it up! And yet she had tried to run an entire nation without any help whatsoever. No wonder she had failed so miserably._

"_It belonged to my mother," she replied reluctantly. This whole "sharing the feelings" thing was new to her, and she wasn't sure she liked it. "I snuck into her room after she left, before Father cleared it out." She didn't add that she had started wearing the shade, no matter how much the cosmetician had urged her to try another shade, because some childish part of her had hoped it would bring her mother back, show her that she wasn't a monster._

"_So what do you think you're going to do after you get better?"_

_Mai, asking two questions willingly? Zuzu must be getting her out of her shell. "I don't know," she confessed. "I'm not going after the throne; I didn't exactly make a good impression on my last attempt. But I refuse to just sit around waiting for things to happen for the rest of my life." _

_Mai nodded. "I used to do that," she admitted. "Why do you think I was bored all the time? I always reacted; never acted. Dating Zuko only made it worse, with servants doing everything for me, so I found a hobby."_

_Odd. Mai was being downright talkative. And not about how bored she was, or how much she hated everything. She wondered at that, but didn't question it._

"_Any suggestions?"_

_The projectile master shook her head. "I'm just reorganizing the library," she said. "Not something I see you getting into."_

_Well, that was true. Azula needed something set a bit more to her speed. Like... like..._

_The sudden realization came that Azula had no hobbies. Not one. Between the constant lessons, war meetings, pleasing her father and plotting the downfalls of family members, gods born in flesh and two nations, she hadn't exactly had time for a social life or her own interests. Of course, it hadn't helped that all of those things had _been_ her interests. Had she changed so much?_

_This whole revelation was both shocking and sad. Well, pathetic might be a better word. Or disgusting. She would simply have to remedy the situation as soon as she was allowed out of this Agni-forsaken bed._

_How did one go about finding their interests, anyway? She had no idea. It rankled her that she was clueless about a subject the average child probably had mastered. She would have to take this under serious consideration._

* * *

_Zuko glanced over to the vanity. "Is that the doll Uncle gave you?" he inquired._

_Azula glanced in the direction he was looking from. Her vanity, of course. She had no other dolls in the room, hadn't for as long as she could remember. Honestly she was surprised that her brother could even identify it; it looked like no more than a blackened lump with highlights of green to it._

_Why was he even visiting her, anyway? It was the middle of the day, and she knew he must have obligations as Fire Lord. Peace talks, paperwork and the like. He wasn't even in the traditional robes, choosing instead to wear casual but expensive garments and keep his hair loose. _

_They weren't on good terms, so he shouldn't want to take time out of his day to see her. For the past twenty minutes the two of them had sat in complete silence, Azula in bed propped up with pillows and Zuko on an ornately carved wooden chair._

"_What about it?" she demanded. "It's not like I held onto the worthless thing all these years. I put it somewhere and forgot about it, and Mai happened to find it."_

_Zuko nodded absently, lost in thought. _

_Though she was loath to admit it, Zuko's visit wasn't entirely unwelcome. Being bedridden didn't suit her at all; she was a person of action, and being stuck in one place with nothing to do did nothing for her disposition. So while his presence was uncomfortable, it broke the monotony quite nicely._

"_Why did you burn it?"_

"_Hm?" Azula refocused her attention on her older brother, and he repeated the question. "Because I could," she responded. "Why else?"_

_The older boy shook his head. "You know, even a month ago I would've believed that," he admitted. "You always seemed like you wanted to hurt everything you came across. Especially me." A long pause, as though there was something he wanted to say but wasn't sure he should. In the end, though, he seemed to decide to say it. "I always hated you."_

_A quirk of her lips into a familiar smirk. "The feeling was mutual, Zuzu."_

_Her brother's brow lowered. "Is that why you stole our father from me?" he demanded._

"_Oh please," she scoffed, "that had nothing to do with it." He opened his mouth to protest, but she projected her voice to continue over him. "It was always a competition between you and me to see who he liked better. You chose the route of blind loyalty, and I chose to hone my skills. Three guesses which he preferred, and the first two don't count."_

_And it was true. Azula had never been as warm as Zuko – not that it mattered. She excelled at everything else – studies, firebending, subtlety. Everything that made her father look at her favorably. So of course she'd chosen to improve her already considerable skills. Who was Zuko to tell her what she did was wrong?_

"_You still didn't have to take him from me completely," he snapped. "You could have taught me how to firebend like you did, or helped me with lessons."_

_Another scoff. "Since when is the younger female supposed to coddle the older brother?" she asked. "Seems like you've got our roles reversed. Just because you were too incompetent to pay attention or spend your free time doing extra work instead of _playing_ doesn't mean I should be held responsible."_

"_I was a child, Azula!" he yelled. "Just because you were already a bitter old lady by the time you were five doesn't mean you had the right to deprive me of a parent!"_

"_Well then by your logic, your ineptitude shouldn't have done the same to me!" she screamed back._

_That apparently gave Zuko pause. "What?"_

"_Don't act dumb, Zuko," she sniped. "The day Father chose me over you was the day Mom stopped giving a snake-rat's ass about me. So excuse me for not simpering over your loss, but I felt the loss even more keenly than you did!" Breathe. Just breathe, and calm down. She was revealing far more than she wanted._

_A snort. "More? You never used to play the victim, Azula."_

_All thought of control fled her mind with that comment. "You got to spend _time_ with Mom," she snarled. "She touched you, she played with you, she read to you, she even fed the stupid turtle-ducks with you! You know what Father did?" She didn't wait for an answer. "He shoved me in more lessons, and showed me off for brownie points with Grandfather! I felt like a bigger circus freak than Ty Lee!"_

"_Why didn't you say anything?" he asked quietly._

"_Yeah, right," she muttered. "When I heard you making fun of me to Mom, and her not even scolding you for it? She used to love both of us, but you stole her love and hogged it all to yourself. It was only fair that I enjoyed Father's attention just as much."_

_The Fire Lord sighed. "So both of us thought the other stole something," he reasoned. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like that."_

"_Well I did," she responded. And it had been worth it, to see the hurt expression, the tears, every time she was praised and he ignored. But... "I guess I'm sorry too," she conceded._

_Her brother's gaze wandered back to her vanity. "So did you really burn the doll just because?" he asked._

_Well, she had shared and humiliated herself enough, what would a little more hurt? "No," she admitted. "If your knife was ignitable, I would have burned that instead."_

_Zuko reached into his obi and pulled the ivory blade out, sliding its sheath off with practiced ease. "Why?" was all he said._

"_Because it was more proof that people liked you more than me," she grumbled. "Uncle gave you a token of a victorious battle, a symbol of honor with a significant message engraved. He gave me a doll, something he could have bought anywhere."_

"_I don't think that's what he meant," Zuko protested. "Maybe he just thought you'd want a doll or something. Besides, didn't he get that from Ba Sing Se? Probably the Upper Ring too, since it was made with silk clothes. Doesn't that mean he might've risked getting caught to get you a present?"_

_That hadn't really occurred to her. Still, there was no proof, so why should she believe it? Maybe he'd had an insignificant soldier risk his life for him, or he could have had it delivered or something._

"_Whatever," she muttered. "Anyway, don't you have responsibilities to tend to?"_

_The Fire Lord nodded, rising. He must have understood a dismissal when he heard one; apparently he had gained a sense of subtlety lately. "I'm glad we got to talk, Azula," he told her firmly. "I don't think we'll ever be best friends, but maybe we got to know each other a little."_

_A fuzzy sort of warmth spread through her chest, not a feeling she was used to. "Don't think we'll be making a habit of this," she informed him. "This was a one-time thing, only because I'm stuck in bed."_

_A smile was the only reply she got, and as he left Azula was left to marvel at the difference in her brother. Only a month or so ago he'd been so angry all the time, always doubting himself and taking his angst out on everybody. Whatever change had been the catalyst for this obviously agreed with him._

_A flash of jealousy shot through her, a very familiar sensation she'd come to associate with Zuko. She didn't think she could ever say she was unconditionally happy; there was always something that seemed to get in the way. As usual, everything came so easily to Zuzu, while she had to struggle to get anything._

* * *

_When Ty Lee came to see her the next morning, she couldn't say she was surprised._

"_No time for the ugly confrontations like when you've got a bedridden captive audience," she commented as the acrobat perched on the edge of her bed._

"_Hey Azula," she greeted the princess. "How are you feeling?"_

"_Quit the pleasantries and get to the point, Ty Lee," she snapped with an impatient sigh. "Just because I'm stuck here doesn't mean it's okay to waste my time."_

_As soon as she saw the hurt expression in her friend's eyes she realized that she'd taken it a step too far._

"_So that's how it is? Me wanting to spend time with my friend, to make sure she's alright, is a waste of time?" Standing, she continued with the coldest tone Azula had ever heard from the cheerful girl. "Fine. I'll leave."_

"_Wait – Ty Lee - " Another sigh, this one frustrated. "I didn't mean it. Come back." The pink-clad girl didn't return to her seat or even look at her, but neither did she turn away. "This is all strange for me. I need you to bear with me."_

"_Oh yeah?" she asked, fists clenched. She whirled around with such a look of fury in her grey eyes that Azula flinched. "Well, Azula, it feels like I've been _bearing with you_ for years, and haven't gotten anything for it! If you haven't changed in eight years, why should I think you'll change now?"_

_What was she talking about? Azula repeated her thoughts aloud._

"_How could you not know?" she demanded. "Ever since I met you, you've done nothing but make me feel bad! Pushing me around, making fun of me, bullying me into doing what you want me to do, it never stops!" She stamped her foot in a rare display of temper. "I came halfway across the world to make sure you were okay, left all my new friends behind and spent constant time with you, and it's still not good enough for you!"_

"_I can explain all of that," Azula offered._

_Arms crossed, Ty Lee commanded, "So tell me."_

_An easy shrug preceded her words. "Because you didn't matter."_

_The effect was immediate. Ty Lee always had been quick to cry, and this was no exception. Her face reddened, the corners of her lips tugged downward, and tears spilled over onto her cheeks, a few fat drops clinging to her lashes. "How could you say that?" she sobbed._

"_Because it's true," was the reply. "Don't get me wrong, I liked you, but you didn't really matter. Nothing mattered to me as much as myself." Seeing that her friend's shoulders still convulsed under the power of her emotions, she rolled her eyes. "I didn't say that was how I feel now, just that that's how I used to feel. Calm down, already."_

_Her exasperated tone seemed to work, as Ty Lee reined in her sobs and smeared at her cheeks with the back of her hand. A few hiccups and she was calm, though her face and eyes were still red. "You can't just start over, you know," she finally said. "You really hurt me, and you can't expect me to just drop everything and pretend it didn't happen."_

_Azula turned her head toward the window, focusing her gaze out on the courtyard. "I know," she admitted. "I guess it never really occurred to me that my actions would have any consequences, other than getting what I wanted. I knew I could make you and Mai afraid of me, but I didn't think about how you'd feel about it, that it would make you hate me." Closing her eyes, she added quietly, half hoping Ty Lee wouldn't hear: "I guess I can't blame you for abandoning me."_

"_We didn't want to," the brunette insisted. "We like you, Azula. We like being your friends. But you always take things too far, and I guess we both got sick of being dragged along for the ride. It was one thing when you picked on us when we were little, or when we were chasing after somebody we didn't know to capture him, but then you wanted us to kill your brother. We couldn't do that." A pause, and then: "We couldn't let you do it, either. We didn't want you to have to live with that."_

_So they were protecting her conscience, were they? Azula wasn't completely sure it was necessary. Would she have even felt badly for killing her brother back then? For that matter, would she now? It was hard to say._

"_Well," she finally said, "I won't grovel on hands and knees for your forgiveness, but I will say I'm sorry. Maybe we can eventually put it behind us, but that'll have to be enough for now."_

_Ty Lee nodded, a smile shining through her tear-reddened face. "Deal," she agreed._

* * *

_And of course, with all the other confrontations done and over with, that only left one more, the one she dreaded more than anything._

"_I hope you realize that I'm only allowing you to do this because I'm confined to my bed," she informed her mother._

_The older woman nodded, not pausing from her task of clipping the girl's black locks with the gold-plated scissors in her hand. "I know," she added unnecessarily. Almost to herself, she murmured, "Why did you do this to your beautiful hair?"_

"_It wouldn't cooperate," the princess replied. "When parts of a whole don't function as they should, when they compromise the overall effectiveness of the system, you cut them out. Sacrifice the individual to save the whole." They both knew she was referring to more than just the hair._

"_But forcing those parts to do more than they were made to will ensure that they eventually rebel or fail," her mother protested quietly. "The whole must learn the limitations of the parts, as well as how to care for them."_

_Azula didn't reply. She'd finally learned that lesson weeks ago, and didn't need any reminders of that harsh period. _

_Ursa finished snipping her hair several tense, silent moments later, brushing the stray severed hairs from the bedspread. Wrinkling her nose, Azula dispelled a few from her face with a quick puff of air from her mouth._

"_You can go now," she finally said when her mother didn't move from her perch on the edge of the bed. "I've recovered, my hair is cut, and soon I'll be able to get out of this bed. There's no reason for you to stay in the Fire Nation." And afterthought caused her to add, "Unless you think Zuzu needs you to pick up after him."_

"_Are you so anxious to get rid of me?"_

_That wasn't a question she wanted to answer. "What if I do?" she asked instead. _

"_I'm not so sure you do," Ursa asserted. "Your mind doesn't create images of a person you don't care about." More silence, and Azula risked a glance at her mother's face. Dark golden eyes met her own amber ones, and the princess retreated her gaze immediately. "All you have to do is tell me to stay and I will."_

"_Right," came the scoffed reply. "Is that why you spent so much time anywhere but here while I was sick? Because you wanted to make yourself readily available to me?"_

_The older woman had the decency to blush. "I won't deny that I've made mistakes," she admitted. "If you'd tell me any others I made, maybe we can try to fix them."_

_Azula snorted, wincing internally at the undignified sound that escaped her. "After so many times of you telling me that 'we don't talk that way' any time I mentioned something unpleasant? I don't think so."_

"_Then I won't be leaving."_

_Really, these sullen stretches of silence were starting to get old. It seemed as though Azula had no choice but to speak, if she wanted the woman gone. "Fine," she acquiesced, "but after this you leave me alone. No more misguided bonding sessions. You leave and never return." She took the silence that met her as an agreement. "Why don't we address your blatant favoritism toward my brother," she said more than asked in a flat tone._

_Surprisingly, her mother didn't deny it. "I thought I was doing the right thing," she said. "You had your father, so I thought Zuko should have his mother."_

_Fine. Azula didn't feel like revealing what she'd said to Zuko earlier. She was positive that Zuko cared enough to be discreet. This woman was an unknown factor._

"_Fine," she said, "but that doesn't explain what made you hate me."_

"_What? Azula, how could I hate you? You're my daughter."_

"_Lying doesn't become you, Mother. Honestly I don't care," she lied. "But really, you might have used a bit of subtlety; you can't argue against something as blatantly obvious as this."_

_Labor-roughened hands suddenly grabbed her shoulders and shook her a bit. "I didn't and don't hate you," Ursa insisted, her eyes radiating a quiet fury Azula had only seen once – when her mother had learned that Zuko was going to be murdered by her husband._

"_Please," the girl scoffed, "just admit it and make things easier for everyone involved. You - " A slap to her left cheek stunned her into silence for a long moment. Now her own glower met her mother's. "So it comes out," she hissed. "If not in words, then in deeds. Just call me what you've always thought of me: a monster."_

_Ursa's narrowed eyes suddenly widened. "A monster? Where would you get such an idea?"_

"_From the truth," came the snarling reply. "You expected a monster from me, so a monster was what you got. Go ahead and say it. Monster. Two little syllables will get you off the hook, so just say it." At her mother's continued quiet, she repeated it louder. "Say it!" The blood drained from her livid face as she shrieked, "SAY IT!"_

"_NO!" A fist powered by years of manual labor impacted her face, snapping her head to the side. What an open hand failed to do, a punch accomplished: keeping Azula quiet. "I _never_ thought of you as anything but my daughter, a girl who sometimes needed more than I could give her."_

"_Then why did you say something was wrong with me?" the teen demanded._

_A furrowed brow. "What are you talking about?"_

"_Right before Father was ordered to kill Zuko! I mentioned that Father would be Fire Lord with Grandfather and Uncle out of the way, and you scolded me, and you said something was wrong with me _before I even left the room!_" Her breath came in harsh gasps, and she angrily swiped a bit of moisture from one cheek._

_Ursa, for her part, grew pale when she heard that. "You weren't supposed to hear that," she whispered._

"_Oh yes, and that makes it all better – you still feel that way, but you're sorry you got caught!" More moisture, another swipe._

_Ursa was wiping tears of her own from her face. "I'm so sorry, Azula," she muttered. "I never meant for you to think that." Before Azula could stop her, she'd wrapped her arms around her daughter and hauled her in close to her chest, where the moisture now fell into green robes rather than onto Azula's cheeks. The choked whimpers escaping her throat were of course from continued weakness from her recent illness._

_The girl inhaled deeply, shudderingly, relaxing as her mother's scent invaded her lungs. Despite its differences – more earthy than she remembered, without the scent of the perfume on her vanity, the perfume she'd stolen from Ursa's room the day she'd left – it brought the same comfort it had years before. As did the drops of wetness landing into her hair._

* * *

Azula blushed a little at the memory. She was not a child who still needed a mother's comfort. She didn't need to be coddled.

She ran her fingers idly through her bangs, trying to get used to the hair lying against her forehead. At least they weren't as thick as Mai's.

In any case, it was time for the most important order of business: bathing. She had done without for days on end now, and she frankly offended her own senses. Turning from her mirror, she dropped her bedclothes on the floor. She would call a servant to have her sheets and blankets changed, as well as bring her some proper clothes as she had a nice long soak. She risked one last peek over her shoulder at her haircut, before doing a quick double-take.

What.

Her eyes widened in horror as she took in the skin at her back. Thick, angry, pink, and uneven, like some kind of hideous rode-colored paste smeared haphazardly over the once smooth pale curve.

One hand bent awkwardly to touch the mass, reminiscent of her brother's scar. Though the senses seemed dull back there, there was no denying that this skin was her own.

She was scarred. Maimed. _Hideous._ No more the perfect daughter, the perfect princess. Now nothing more than a deformed _freak_.

A piercing, high-pitched sound violated her ears, and it took her a second to realize that it was her own voice raised in a scream. Her knees buckled underneath her, and she vaguely registered the door to her room banging open as she was surrounded by pink and burgundy, light brown and jet black. Her vision spun dizzily before blacking out completely.

A/N: Ugh, sorry the update took so long; I've been incredibly busy for the past two weeks. I'll be busy for a large part of this week as well, packing for school and then leaving for it. Yay college dorm privacy!


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